Sunday 31 August 2008

Grace and Beloved's Church Search Week 11: An exceptionally friendly church

SCENE 1: A SERVICE AT EXCEPTIONALLY FRIENDLY CHURCH (EFC)
EFC is celebrating the Eucharist. GRACE stands up to join the line as BELOVED stays seated, as is his preference. Three women approach Grace as she queues.

WOMAN ONE: Does your husband need communion taking to his seat?

GRACE: He doesn't take communion. But thank you, anyway.

WOMAN TWO: Would he mind us introducing ourselves to him after the service?

GRACE: Not at all. He'd love that, I'm sure. Thanks.

SCENE 2: ALMOST AN HOUR AFTER THE END OF THE SERVICE
All three women plus the husband of one of them and the vicar and curate are still sitting talking intently, animatedly and interestedly to BELOVED. GRACE has protested several times that she and BELOVED do not want to detain them, but all insist that they have nothing more delightful to do than consider the questions of such a man as BELOVED.


Jesus, I think, would have been so proud.

Saturday 30 August 2008

... and the first shall be last and the last shall be first

Interesting. What follows is the number of pageloads my statcounter has so far recorded for the following posts...

For my post on my own employment tribulations... 6.
For my post on Patricia King... 12.
For my post on Todd Bentley... 15.
For my post on Michael Guglielmucci... 29.
For my post on Brandt Russo... 83.

Friday 29 August 2008

"Praise the Lord and pass the business plan as God embraces Mammon": a prophecy of the pissing off of Pentecostals by today's Guardian article.

The article in question, subtitled "Pentecostalist gathering draws worshippers with get-rich philosophy", and written by Robert Booth, is online here.

Basically, it's an expose of the dire materialism and cringe-inducing prosperity-gospelness of the International Gathering of Champions "Empowered to Prosper conference" and of the Kingsway International Christian Centre, who are running the event. The reporting about the KICC is probably fair journalism. But the implication that all such churches and all such over-involvement with money is typical of Pentecostalists (I assume he means Pentecostals) is, I think, slightly misjudged, inaccurate and destined to outrage.

Pentecostalism began in early 20th Century America as a way of reigniting the power which came down on the early Church from the Holy Spirit at the first Pentecost, and of harnessing that power to liberate and transform every sphere of each person's life. So whereas there's an emphasis on God doing miraculous and very practical things - bringing healing, restoring families and relationships, arranging jobs, marriages and pregnancies - it's also about developing very individual, personal, ecstatic, emotional, intimate relationships with God. Given that God is so involved and immersed in the minutae of everyday life, then God must be concerned with an individual's financial situation. But, within mainstream Pentecostalism, money is only one apsect of a holistic bigger picture.

The clue to how, within the article, the fallacy may have arisen, is the author's implication (though, to be fair, not an assertion) that Pentecostalism began in Oklahoma. What began in Oklahoma was the whole word-faith, seed-faith, prosperity-gospel millieu. With Kenneth Hagin in Tulsa and then in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, to be precise, though its roots go back much further and broader than that. What word-faith teaches is that, seeing as we are healed by the wounds of Jesus (Isaiah 53:5, far removed from its original meaning) and given that God has promised us anything we ask for in his name (John 14:3, used entirely out of context) then all believers have the right to demand of God perfect health and limitless financial prosperity. Which is all entirely materialistic, but again, not entirely about the money. Mostly, but not entirely.

So I'll be interested to read what the KICC, and what some of the many un-financially-obsessed Pentecostals have to say about the Guardian article...

Thursday 28 August 2008

a post that doesn't mention Todd Bentley but describes the joy of public sector employment in the UK

Seven weeks ago, I was offered and accepted a New Job, which was set to begin in early September. During the past seven weeks, I have made several attempts to ascertain why I'd received nothing whatsoever yet in writing, and to enquire when and where I'd start and how they'd like to pay me. All of my emails went unanswered, and each time I rang I was passed in quick succession between various departments, each one holding the other responsible for the dearth of information. This morning, one of their most junior administrators let slip the reason for all the delays and obfuscations: they haven't yet managed to secure any funding for my post, nor for those of about six others also recently appointed.

Now I understand that within the public sector, people's posts do often disappear and anticipated posts sometimes do fail to materialise. But what I can't get my head around is why they advertised, interviewed and offered work to so many people, without knowing how they were going to pay them...

Wednesday 27 August 2008

Todd Bentley, Michael Guglielmucci... and Brandt Russo

The sordid, tragic sagas of both Todd Bentley and Michael Guglielmucci are continuing to unfold and reverberate around the internet. Yet in the midst of it all, I found this article from the Charleston Gazette in West Virginia.

Charleston-based street evangelist in Florida jail
Charleston-based street evangelist Brandt Russo was in jail today after trying to hold services at a church in Lakeland, Fla.

Russo was arrested Tuesday at Lakeland's Ignite Church and charged with trespassing after he tried to hold communion services on church property, said friend and supporter Charessa Wilkinson. Russo was in the Polk County Jail on $500 bond this morning, according to jail records.

An ordained minister, Russo decided to give up his worldly goods, live on the streets and minister to the homeless. Russo decided to settle in West Virginia after visiting the state on a religious tour.

Earlier this month, Russo took his vegetable oil-powered school bus on a trip to different cities he has visited to shoot a documentary film about life on the streets. Wilkinson said Russo decided to go to Lakeland after learning of the plight of about 40 homeless men who are trying to live in a swamp about 100 yards from Ignite Church.

Russo believes leaders of the church -- until recently, home of controversial evangelist Todd Bentley -- should be doing more to help the homeless men camped right outside their door, Wilkinson said.

Russo, who has been thrown out of or asked to leave several nationally known charismatic churches, is not above using civil disobedience to draw attention to the plight of the homeless.


I believe that Brandt Russo has done entirely what Jesus would have: stepped aside from the plight of the religious bigwigs and got himself a troublemaking reputation for standing up to defend the oppressed and marginalised right in the temple compound.

Meanwhile, all the charismatic big shots have come out to distance themselves from and apologise for Todd Bentley and the family of Michael Guglielmucci have come out to affirm his need for love and healing. Todd Bentley's wife Shonnah allegedly wants nothing more to do with him, whilst Michael Guglielmucci's wife Amanda is allegedly determined that their marriage will survive. Todd Bentley is said to be praying and thinking before saying anything public, whereas Michael Guglielmucci has been on prime-time Australian TV attempting to explain himself. And I've got to the point of wondering, maybe this is enough. Maybe, as a person interested in what's happening and willing to pray yet entirely untouched by the former ministry or current unravelling of either Todd Bentley or Michael Guglielmucci, I don't need to know any more. Maybe the discussion and speculation of both is now best left to those directly affected.

Instead, maybe the media spotlight and blog space could divert to individuals like Brandt Russo. He sounds an amazing prophet, role model and human...

*Grace wonders about spending the $50 she refused to be parted with earlier on sending a large bunch of flowers to Polk County Jail*

ChurchSearch Week 10: Grace considers Patricia King's Extreme Prophetic XPWebChurch, but is put off by the $50 demanded at the door

Extreme Prophetic with Patricia King. A brief glance at their website suggests that they're likely to be what most Christians would consider somewhat heterodox or a bit dodgy. Their Doctrinal Statement which concludes
We believe God loves us with an everlasting love and has come to give us a future and a hope! Yippy! Yeah God!
does little to dispel this impression. However, I'm intrigued by the shamanic, gnostic, generally New Agey and mystical tone to it all. It seems very unusual, and I'd wanted to learn more. I'd wanted to try out their XPWebchurch both because of this and because, as an online community, it seems very well thought out and structured and generally very interesting.

And then they asked me for $50. In fact, if you read the introductory page, the link to the Tithes and Offerings page appears above the link to the Doctrinal Statement. That's seriously a bit worrying. And then, if you click to read the Tithes and Offerings Policy, you're told
Some have said, "I can't afford to tithe.” I would simply answer this by saying that you can’t afford not to!
Do they seriously not realise that the phrase you can't afford not to is the utterly stereotypical response of every money-scamming Scientology-style cult?

Can they not afford to freely share the good news of Jesus which came for free and brings limitless freedom at no cost, even for a 7-day introductory trial?

Thank you, whoever you are. But who are you? A blogosphere whodunnit.

OK, who submitted my blog details to Wikio?

I'd thought Wikio just automatedly pulled stuff off Google, but it seems that the only publish links to what they're sent. And they weren't sent nuffink from me.

I inexplicably seem to have (almost) prime place on their Todd Bentley page. In terms of the pageload activity it's generating, this is fab and wonderful and brill and I'm hugely, (almost) tear-jerkingly grateful. But I'm just curious to know who put me there.

Anyone know anything?

Tuesday 26 August 2008

wondering what Michael Guglielmucci and Todd Bentley are saying to the Church

Oh dear. First Todd Bentley, now Michael Guglielmucci. It hasn't been a good month for the Church, and especially not its charismatic bits.

Briefly put, Michael Guglielmucci is an Australian youth pastor from Adelaide, so tragically stricken by the effects of terminal cancer that he needed an oxygen tube to manage on stage. The disturbing bit of that being that his cancer was something he'd entirely made up, fabricated and faked, and had sung and preached about to thousands of people. Like he's doing below.


The full story is throughout the Australian press.

And Guglielmucci has now been speaking to the media about why he did it. His claim is that he's 'addicted to porn' and needed, essentially, a credible-sounding illness to distract himself from it and cover it up from others. He claims that his obsession with porn is so strong that he has been losing his hair and throwing up every evening, and that he therefore needed a socially-acceptable explanation for these symptoms.

But losing one's hair and constantly vomiting are not symptoms of over-involvement with porn. Instead, they are fairly common and widespread reactions to stress. So why, given that Guglielmucci's "symptoms" arose through the horrendous pressure of being both a minister of Christ to young people and a man struggling with a life-consuming obsession, why could he have not admitted all this to those he chose in his church and/or family and asked for help and support and prayer?

I would like to hope that such help, support and prayer would have been readily and discreetly forthcoming. Yet the Church, as a whole, does not have a good track record of dealing maturely or compassionately with people's sexual difficulties. The Church is still saturated by a such a simplistic dualism in which people are morally responsible for what goes wrong with their minds but powerless over what happens with their bodies, and assumes that body and mind can clearly be delineated from one another. So by presenting himself with a form of cancer known as having no environmental causes rather than an ambiguous and somewhat amorphous sexual and/or obsession-type problem, Guglielmucci became a victim of a disease, a hero and a role model rather than the pervert he may have been regarded as. I'm not excusing Guglielmucci's behaviour, and I'm not suggesting that deceiving people by fabricating cancer is ever remotely acceptable. But I think that the Church, by expecting so much and so intensely of its leaders, whilst often offering disproportionately little to support them, must bear the blame for pushing some of its leaders past what they can cope with...

Normal service resumes

Phew. All the dramas and security threats surrounding our church search and my blogging have, I think, finally dissipated. I'm sorry for all the chaos. Hello again.

Thursday 21 August 2008

Normal service will shortly be resumed...

... but for the moment, I need a few days away from blogging here. In light of all of the offline fallout from our Church Search* and my blogging about it**, it feels somehow wrong that I should carry on blogging here without doing anything about it. Not that I know, however, what to do about it... but I'm hoping that God might have some suggestions.

I'll be back Tuesday, after the Bank Holiday weekend. I'll still be lurking, paranoidedly checking for sudden clusters of local pageloads and troll comments... but in the meantime, I'll put all of the non-contentious "church search" and "place of former employment" posts back.


* basically, Beloved and I visiting a lot of local churches with a view to finding one in which he as well as I is welcome to participate
** not that (I'm fairly certain) any of our detractors have read even found this blog to read anything I've written

Wednesday 20 August 2008

I'm a Kick Ass blogger, according to Kate



Kate from the Morningstar Chronicles nominated me for this

Grace, at Jesus Wept, because Jesus surely does, at what she’s been through because of her previous place of employment, and her struggle to find a new church home.

which was really kind of her.

So the rules are that, if you're awarded a Kick Ass award

1. Choose 5 bloggers that you feel are "Kick Ass Bloggers"
2. Let 'em know in your post or via email, twitter or blog comments that they've received an award
3. Share the love and link back to both the person who awarded you and back to www.mammadawg.com
4. Hop on back to the Kick Ass Blogger Club HQ to sign Mr. Linky then pass it on!

Being English and all, the concept of Kick[ing] Ass doesn't generally feature in my vocabulary. I once lived in a student house in which we shared a bottle of Kick Ass Chilli sauce to put on our fish and chips, but that's about it. But of course, I know what you mean.

OK, so who are my five? I've spent the whole day thinking about this... and have reached the conclusion that, whereas I'm probably thinking far too deeply about it all, I can't follow the rules.

I could never choose just five. There are too, too many excellent blogs out there. And for me the real Kiss Ass-ers of the blogosphere aren't the bloggers as much as the commenters. I think it's Roland Barthes who says that narrative and thought are created not so much by those who write as those who respond to what's written. Although I don't know much about literature, I can see what he's getting at with regard to the Bible, theology and blogs, which are the main forms of writing with which I am familiar.

And so, I'm going to pass on my kick-ass blog award to some of the most thoughtful and dedicated blog-readers and commenters I know, from all of blogs I read, both those on and beyond my blogroll. I've put them in alphabetical order, to avoid any inference of preference. And seeing as I've broken the rules already, I've chosen eight.

Here they are...

Caroline. We started out blogging together. Most of what she now writes either goes zooming over my head in its academic acumen, or makes me blush because it's so rude. But she's so wonderfully unafraid of writing some bold, challenging and very funny things.
Erika. Her Blogger profile says it all. (My cooking improves with wine quality, too.) Just an altogether lovely, lovely person.
Erin. One of life's gentle people... and a blog that's extremely thought-provoking...
Lampbus. One of these days I'll ask him what his name means... a male version of Bagpuss, maybe? He never fails to make all those around him think more deeply.
Lilwatchergirl. Yet another stunningly good writer, with a real gift for brave, clear thinking. (And a partner that talks almost as much as mine, too.)
Peter Ould. I disagree with almost everything of his I've read, but I admire his creativity and capacity for argument.
Razzler, The. Zooming across the blogosphere daily, she's a very good friend to a great number of people.
Ruth. In between writing a textbook, caring for a sick dog, coordinating support for a family with sick children she still has time to blog... yet she's, again, so thoughtful.

Tuesday 19 August 2008

why I can't join the condemnation of Todd Bentley

Todd Bentley. I've been watching him and the Lakeland Revival on the GOD Channel and YouTube for a few months now. Headbutting the groins of cancer sufferers for whom you're praying whilst shouing "wham-bam!" isn't my understanding of how God generally works (see clip below) but it held my fascination in wondering what it was about him that drew people to his ministry, godly or otherwise. I think it was all his talk of the transsexual angel named Emma which endeared me to him. As one also prone to conversing with supernatural apparitions with a questionable connection to reality, I felt some kinship with a 32 year old man still so firmly and childishly attached to his imaginary friend.

During the past week, it has emerged that Todd Bentley has been having an unhealthy relationship on an emotional level with a female member of his staff, and hadn't been honest about it. The Christian press, and the charismatics in particular, are extremely angry and are using the revelation as evidence that Bentley was, all along, an unsavoury character, a snake-oiled charlatan and a possible agent of Satan.

All I can feel, though, is really, really sorry for Todd Bentley*. I'm not condoning his sexual misdeeds, nor suggesting that his offbeat antics have been innocuous or harmless to those his ministy has confused and hurt. I think it's entirely necessary that Bentley steps down from his position, I would hope to see a public repentance appear on YouTube soon and I would be very annoyed to see him back on stage any time soon. But haven't we all of us, under the pressure of overwork, stress or heightened emotion, committed acts that were shockingly immoral, destructive, thoughtless, dishonest, abusive or stupid?

Despite all that has happened, I cannot believe that there was nothing of God in Todd Bentley's ministry. And so, I find it oddly reassuring that God is willing and able to use someone as odd and misguided and sinful as the rest of us...



But what do others out there think?

*Of course, I really feel sorry for his wife Shonnah and their kids, too.

Monday 18 August 2008

a fairly stunning piece of writing I found from Julie Burchill

In her latest piece, she's talking about her faith. It was in last Thursday's Guardian, but I've only just read it.

My favourite vicar, the Reverend Gavin Ashenden of Sussex University, never says, "I am a Christian," but rather "I'm trying to be a Christian". Me too. Between the darkness that faces me from within and the darkness that faces me from without, it may just prove to be the hardest thing I've ever done. I love it.


The full article is here.

Ever since I graduated from the Funday Times, I've always loved Julie Burchill. Always wanted to write as startlingly well as her. Always admired her supreme ability to write the most audacious, shocking, shit-stirring things, and then to allow all resulting vitriol and fury to so gracefully slide past her. Not that this piece is excessively over-controversial, or not by her standards, anyway. It's mainly a very genuine encapsulation of faith...

Sunday 17 August 2008

what happened to all those mysteriously disappearing posts tagged "church search" and "place of former employment"

I've only archived them for now. This means that I'll be able to put them back up whenever. I don't know whether taking them offline for now was something necessary, wise, advisable or crucial to prevent my eyeballs being gouged out... or whether I'm simply manufacturing yet more boring, self-indulgent emo-shit drama to detract from the real troubles of the world in South Ossetia and Mauritania. But I've turned on Comment Moderation and installed a titanium-plated statcounter, too.

Basically, I've just had yet another fairly explosive discussion about my decision to leave Place of Former Employment and our Church Search endeavour, this time from someone who I'd thought to be a friend... and my blogging about it all came into it, even though she'd obviously not read my blog. My concern following our altercation is that one or more people nearby may currently be googling themselves into a frenzy attempting to find my blog.

Or maybe they're not. Maybe I'm just being paranoid and should get offline and onto my marital duties. Or maybe they're really out to get me because I deserve it. Maybe I do have demons impregnated in my soul. Maybe I am an agent of Satan predestined to desecrate the Body of Christ or at least the odd ecumenical partnership round here. There's a fluffy red blob-like creature sitting at the end of the bed as I write this, stroking the cat with a shiny trident..

Grace and Beloved's ChurchSearch Week 9: St Paul-of-almost-anywhere

[Original post deleted because it was probably unnecessarily hard on the place. We'll go back when it isn't raining.]

Saturday 16 August 2008

an extremely good poem I found, which says a lot about faith today

Cyber-Psalm 44: On Reading Christopher Hitchins
by David Ker

Religion poisons everything.
god is not great.
god did not create us.
We created god.

The calm voice of reason batters my ecstasy.

Fanatics burn effigies.
Holy men declare fatwas.
Statues weep and trees speak.
Denominations recursively reduplicate.

Theocracies and theologies threaten.

What is the essence within the devout accoutrements?
Who is the divine behind the curtain?
Are we worshipping our own shadow on the wall?
Carpenter? King? Ephemeral Pantokrator?

Why am I still unmoved by the seeming soundness of your mocking?

pneuma
has blown away my resistance.
agape has enfolded me in its harmony.
koinonia has broken through my isolation.
logos has spoken the final word.

While reason and religion rage, my heart sings to God.

Friday 15 August 2008

Did God intend the church?

(Recycled and reposted from my piece from a few weeks back on The Crowded Handbasket)

From a fairly straightforwardly literal reading of Matthew’s gospel (16:13-18), yes.

“But what about you?” he [Jesus] asked. “Who do you say I am?”

Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church [Greek: ekklesia], and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”


Briefly put, the Roman Catholic understanding is that the ekklesia is built on the rock of Peter, the first Pope and that he and every subsequent Pope has the authority to act as the gatekeeper of heaven. There is no ekklesia but the Church which has inherited the true apostolic succession, and no possibility of salvation outside the Church. The traditional Protestant assertion, however, is that it is not Peter who is the rock but his statement you are the Christ, the Son of the Living God, and that the ekklesia and all routes to God and based simply upon a confession of that truth. The problem is, one could really choose to read Jesus’ you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church in either of the two possible ways. The word Peter (petros) means rock in Greek, and Greek has neither capital letters to distinguish rock from Rock, nor an indefintive article to distinguish a rock from the rock. This is why there was so much bloodshed and pillage at the Reformation and Inquisition over the origins and authority of church or the Church and suchlike. But either way, is this what Jesus intended?

The story of what happens after Jesus suggests, perhaps, not.

Was what Jesus calls the ekklesia anything remotely akin to the church or Church today? In contemporary Greek, ekklesia is simple an assembly of people. Yet the early Jesus Disciples worshipped not in their own assembly or organisation but in the Jewish Temple and then, after the fall of the Temple, the synagogues. What led them to start worshipping separately was not a belief that Jesus had told them to, but the malediction written into the synagogue liturgy, in which everyone wanting to worship in the synagogue had to recite a curse condemning Followers of The Way. So if, in the early days after the Ascension, Jesus’ followers and their Jewish contemporaries had got along together better, would the ekklesia have been necessary?

Soon, though, Gentiles began following Jesus and (after a bit of wrangling between Peter and Paul), the Jesus Fellowers decided the Holy Spirit was telling them that it didn’t make sense ro require them to convert to Judaism in order to follow Christ. This, then, is what really established the ekklesia. Was it a wise decision?

So is the church or the Church in whatever form, is it really what Jesus, what God ever intended for us?

Thursday 14 August 2008

Grace's Spiritual Homemaking Challenge: Update #5

Well, the bedroom and living room and study are now looking all sparkly and, despite his liberated facade, Beloved is overwhelmed with delight at having a wife devoted to such domestic, er, devotedness.

The concludion I'm beginning to reach about the spirituality of homemaking is thus that, essentially, it's all about the relationship one has with the one for whom one is cleaning and being domesticatedly committed to... that only then does God come into it.

in which Grace receives yet more evidence of how blogging about Satan will desecrate your pageload activity

Yes, it has happened again. After the post I put up about Him Downstairs this morning, my hit rate plummetted in exactly the same way it did last time I got posting about Satan. Oops.

Barack Obama competes with Prince Charles for definitive Antichrist status as Satan is alleged incarnate yet again

Blogspot is now hosting the blog entitled Barack Obama the Antichrist.

It is a genuine attempt to express a view that the end of the world finally is nigh... or merely a nifty Republican campaign tool?

Either way, it's an age-old eschatopolitical (or did I make that word up?) trick. At this point I was going to attempt something all serious and scholarly in probing for parallels between the antichrist charges made against Obama in the US today and Charles I in Britain in 1640. As soon as I put "charles antichrist" into Google, however, I became sidetracked by the realisation that today's Prince Charles is also beset with antichrist allegations. Watch what follows... and weep.

Wednesday 13 August 2008

a link to a much more interesting blog discussion than all this talk of my housework

Seaneen, on The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive, is talking about the ethics of eugenics. I don't agree with her and neither do many of those responding... but it's shaping up to be a fascinating discussion...

Grace's Spiritual Homemaking Challenge: Update #4

I'm bored. So bored that my imagination, in its newly-married state, is beginning to explore some interesting horizons.

This spiritual homemaking, biblical womanhood, antifeminist stuff is all a plot from the patriarchy, surely. An attempt to justify keeping women in their place chained to the kitchen sink. This is fine for women who enjoy keeping their houses clean, enjoy the bondage-type thrill of domestically delighting their husbands in a kinky submissive sort of way... and truly, yes, one can find Christ whilst doing absolutely anything... but no, I'm yet to be turned on by rubber gloves...

But I've (whilst plugging on with the housework) just counted eleven rolls of sellotape in the bedroom. Endless possibilities, surely...

Tuesday 12 August 2008

in which Grace can't stop thinking about Satan

I've moved my post about him to The Crowded Handbasket. Do pop over and join the discussion!

Grace's Spiritual Homemaking Challenge: Update #3

Day Two. Well, it can't go any more pear-shaped than yesterday. Ah well. Today I will attempt to clean Marital Bedroom. And maybe write something that doesn't bore my blog readers half to death, too...

Monday 11 August 2008

... and every man's death diminishes me - part 2

Another brutal, premature, unnecessary, senseless death of someone at Place of Former Employment. It's going to be reported in the media, so I can't say more (and, if, commenting, you do know more, please, don't) but any and all prayers for families and friends would be much welcomed.

Grace's Spiritual Homemaking challenge: Update #2

Well, I accomplished all the various replacements of household items. But, in the midst of how stressed I was getting with it all, I ended up arguing with Beloved. Not the intention of the exercise. Oh dear. Bad, bad start.

I might have to curl up and watch some Veggie Tales before I resume in the bathroom. Good clean fun and all, anyway...

Grace's Spiritual Homemaking challenge: Update #1

So I made a shopping list. I'd like to claim that I then spent the morning joyously cycling between local organic fairtrade cooperatives and struggling neighbourhood greengrocers and buying lots of Ecover and fresh fennel. That would be a lie. Instead I realised that we needed so much more than I could ever carry that I'd have to email Mr Leahey and get Tesco to deliver the lot in a huge carbon-emitting van tomorrow morning. Sorry planet. Sorry God. Not a good start...

Sunday 10 August 2008

Grace and Beloved's ChurchSeach Week 8.1: Grace seeks to discover the spirituality of homemaking



As in, homemaking, homemaking, homemaking...

If this weren't an anonymous blog, I'd upload you a webcam picture of my tongue poking ever so slightly into my cheek. I was brought up as a liberated young lady, a child of Madonna and Whitney Houston and the early 80s girls days school movement, all primed and Miss Jean Brodied to conquer the workplace with my shoulder pads and trek as a missionary to Darkest Africa. So the idea that I dedicate the next week to trying to find some connection with God through mere domesticity, it's all a bit, er, challenging.

But then, I need a challenge. New Job is not going to be commencing for another few weeks, Beloved is insisting (oh how harsh of him) that I don't busy myself with agency bum-wipings in the meantime and, yes, our Marital Home is needing some hardcore housework. And, as much as I take the mick out of such things, I do want to look after my Beloved.

And, more to the point, unless I can find some spiritual fulfilment in doing the "homemaking", it's not likely to happen to any reasonable standard. Honestly, I can't be bothered. I don't have the OCD-type drive to keep things in order, nor do I derive any particular pleasure or pride in tidyness, nor does Beloved ask, encourage, demand or complain about the state of Marital Home, nor does he take any particular delight in things being neat. So essentially, I'll need God to motivate me off my arse to get started. And I'll give Him a week, to start off with

My tasks for tomorrow then, are as follows
1. To do a big, economically-minded trip to the Budget Supermarket to stock up with 11p tinned tomatoes, Polish drain cleaner, recycled loo paper and the like.
2. To take our final few frame-requiring wedding items to the local frame shop.
3. To replace the teapot someone dropped last week.
4. To replace the sofa cushion someone weed on last year.
5. To scrub Marital Bathroom until it's all shiny.

And in the meantime, I'm sitting here blogsearching and reading about Christian homemaking and Biblical womanhood and the joy of housework and wondering whether, if I truly seek God enough, I could reach such a level of serenity and peace and warmth from scrubbing cat hair out from between the shower tiles

I will update you...

Grace and Beloved's ChurchSearch Week 8: Grace stays home to take stock of it all

One of the main things I've realised during the past eight weeks of churchsearching, is how most curchgoers claim a very clear and fixed idea about what church or The Church is or should be, but how different from one another these understandings can be. In academic theology, there's the discipline of ecclesiology, which deals with questions of what the church is or means or does or should do, but I'm not sure that this has much of an impact on the views or understandings or breadth of thinking of most churchgoers.

What follows, then, is a Survey of Popular Views on church observed amongst congregation members in a variety of Protestant denominations in urban Britain, June-August 2008

1. As the Body of Christ on earth (Embodied with the being, essence, substance, authority of the risen Jesus)
2. As what Jesus founded when he made Peter and/or Peter’s Confession the origin of apostolic succession (See the start of my Crowded Handbasket piece)
3. As a way the early Christians found to organise themselves as a group, which subsequent generations have continued and/or replicated (See the rest of my Crowded Handbasket piece)
4. As a club (Somewhere for people who believe what we do)
5. As a community (Somewhere for everyone to learn and share together)
6. As a personal thing (As something between the individual and God)
7. As a sacramental community (Celebrating communion/Eucharist/Lord’s Supper/Breaking of Bread together, conducting marriages, baptisms/christenings/confirmations etc)
8. As an evangelical community (Existing to spread the gospel, proselytise, covert individuals)
9. As an incarnate and or missional community (Existing to transform society, bringing the Kingdom of God to earth)
10. As a building used for praying and singing (It’s all about the singing and praying)
11. As a group of people who get together to pray and sing (it’s all about the people who sing and pray)
12. As an organisation submitted to the authority of a Man of God (it’s all about the Minister/Pastor/Vicar, who is always to be right)
13. As an organisation submitted to the authority of the Word of God (It’s all about the Bible, which needs to be interpreted (fairly) literally)
14. As a place for everyone (It’s about welcoming everyone like Jesus did)
15. As a place you need to be middle class/straight/white to be welcome (It’s about finding a place where you feel comfortable)
16. As a concept we don’t really like to talk about because we’re British and to talk about religion isn’t the British thing to do (Self-explanatory, surely)

I think it was Wittgenstein who pointed out that, unless you begin a discussion by extablishing a common meaning of your terms, the discussion will become frustrating, fraught with misunderstandings and, ultimately, meaningless. It is beginning to occur to me that the church (local) and Church (worldwide) is so divided not because of doctrine or practice on specific points, but because we cannot lack a common agreement od who we are...

in which Grace learns the hard way that blogging about Satan will severely diminish your pageload activity

D'oh. Nobody, other than me, has clicked here for nine hours.

Was it that musing about things that go bump in the night which scared people off? Or was it Satan himself, physically, literally, demonically preventing you from clicking here? Am I still scaring you?

If so, here's a classic piece of religious feelgood kitch. Anyone else into the Veggie Tales?

Saturday 9 August 2008

Grace thinks about Satan

[Post now at The Crowded Handbasket]

more about the SPCK, SSG, Dave Walker, Mark Brewer saga

It's just all, all so sad.

The campaign now has its own website at SPCK/SSG: News, Notes & Info. There's also still a lot of intriguing, thoughful commentary from Matt Wardman, Squiggle Jones, SPCK Watch and MetaCatholic.

I mean, this is not merely about some abstract point of employment law or free speech. Someone died, too. And it continues to appall me that the actions of a Christian should drive anyone to suicide...

Friday 8 August 2008

Grace and Beloved's ChurchSearch Week 7.5: Grace does a virtual tour of Hyles-Anderson College

... and decides that it would take a more trusting, deferential person than her to apply.

I mean, I'm sure they love God very, very much and I'm sure that God loves them too and that they're filled with grace and mercy and all good things... but an online tour really was enough for me for now.

Their promotional video is here.

And their student code of conduct is here. Aptly titled "Maybe you wouldn't like". I don't like the thought of requiring a male to accompany and guide and preserve me from my evil inclinations off campus, no. I deep respect female Muslim friends who've said to me that they feel that having a mahram (basically, a male guide/protector/advocate, proposed through various hadith) helps them learn humility and deference and draw closer to God... but I think I was brought up much more to value my, like, independence and freedom.

The main degree open to women, it seems, is the Associate of Science in Marriage and Motherhood (see p84). Whereas I'd very much welcome some guidance on how to be a better spouse to my Beloved and a more welcoming hostess of visitors and a better pastry-maker, I'm sure my antipathy towards sewing would seriously dent my grade point average.... not to mention my intellectual frustration.

What's really intriguing, though, is how such blog and message board and YouTube activity is generated by what is essentially a small and marginal college. Such as below, in which Principal Hyles explains how Satan composed the New International Version of the Bible. I'd always thought it was the 100+ translators working from virtually the same ancient texts as those who wrote the King James Version. But there you go. Compared to what happened to Salman Rushdie (who, in the Satanic Verses made a much milder but broadly similar allegation), Rev Hyles gets off very lightly...

Thursday 7 August 2008

In which Grace returns to her Place of Former Employment and finds the building piled high with radishes



It was a hot night. And my mother did warn me never to eat cheese late in the evening.

But why radishes?

*Grace thinks of the kids she knew there, and wistfully wonders whether any of them have ever even seen a radish*

Wednesday 6 August 2008

Grace and Beloved's ChurchSearch Week 7.2: Grace goes Appalachian snake handling via Google

The Church of the Lord Jesus with Signs Following in Jolo, West Virginia, USA

This is the town, situated in one of the five most deprived counties of the whole United States.



This is their church website...

... and here's a YouTube clip I found of part of a service...


... and here's a documentary clip I also found about them...


... and here's a Wikipedia page about it all.

Is anyone else out there utterly intrigued?

an anecdote of great pathos and irony as Grace learns of how her alleged evangelical credentials almost precluded her from getting a job

GRACE is at an appointment with the head of HR at her Place of Future Employment, discussing terms and conditions and various contractual and day-to-day practicalities of her New Job.

HEAD OF HR: ... and we were wondering, Grace, whether it'd be helpful for you to know why we chose you for this position?

GRACE: Um, yes, that'd be encouraging.

HEAD OF HR: Well, it was all in your interpretation of Question 4... you took it to a depth that none of the other candidates had grasped... and with such originality, creativity and confidence. You obviously have quite a mind.

(GRACE opens her mouth to tell HEAD OF HR that she was actually merely applying a method of analysis developed by a certain form of theology, and decides instead graciously to accept the unwarranted compliment.)

GRACE: Thank you. That's kind.

HEAD OF HR: ... though I probably also should be honest and tell you that, of all the candidates shortlisted for interview, you were the one I thought probably least likely to have been chosen.

GRACE: Er, go on.

HEAD OF HR: I mean, your application was outstanding. Not the very best, but impressive, nevertheless, and by the criteria we'd devised, we'd never not have shortlisted you. It's just that, when the form asked for your personal and academic interests, you'd written, I thnk, "theology", "faith communities" and even the Bible... and I can only be honest in telling you that it really made a few of our team quite wary of you. Especially as you've just come from working at a very, ahem, no-I-shouldn't-say-that church.

GRACE: Oh...

HEAD OF HR: Yes, we sort of worried, or were perhaps concerned that you'd maybe use the job - or use the interview even - as an attempt to, maybe, share or impose your religion on us. Which honestly, wouldn't have been appropriate.

(GRACE is very tempted to launch into a bitter tirade about how and why all such Bible bashers hate her. She composes herself, and smiles gently.)

GRACE: That's not really my style.

HEAD OF HR: And in a country as free as ours, you wouldn't need to, would you? Nobody needs to take a job as a pretext for proseltysing. I mean, anyone can stand on street corners or knock on doors and preach.

(GRACE resolves not to tell HEAD OF HR that, many years back, the street corners and doorsteps was exactly what she used to do.)



I mean, my goodness. One minute I'm the devil's spawn to Christians, the next minute I'm some earnest Bible-thumping praise-the-Lord-er to the rest of the world. And to think that I feared discrimination on the grounds of being a bit mental, too. To have been employed on account one's evangelical credentials is obviously far, far worse. Oh dear. Thank God I've actually got a job. Otherwise my future prospects would by now be entirely dead.

Tuesday 5 August 2008

Grace and Beloved's ChurchSearch Week 7: St Ninian's-on-the-Park, Studentsville

From last weekend, before aforementioned events all hit...

Beloved chose this church on account of the nubile young sunbathers who'd been using the expansive church grounds to revise for their uni exams. That's not entirely fair, of course. Architecturally, too, it's an almost-impossibly-old church which makes an arresting site. And I'd heard a few friends and the Ship of Fools website make generally approving noises about the place.

The service was fairly nondescript middle-to-high-Anglican. The sermon was somewhat unimpressive, but it was the preacher's last day in the church and area and I'd forgive him for sounding somewhat preoccupied by that. And yet, the prayers - usually the bit of the Anglican liturgy I find least meaningful or engaging - were delivered with such energy and passion that, for me, they brought the whole church to life.

And the coffee afterwards was excellent. And not just coffee but cake, musical entertainment from a brass band, a parish library to browse and people saying hello.

Definately worth a return visit.

Grace reads some books instead

From my undisclosed hideout-from-the-world, I've been reading.

The Rabbi's Daughter
by Reva Mann
Though marketed as fluffy chicklit (and vilified by a red-faced London Orthodox rabbinate as such), this is a book of huge spiritual depth and subtle, gentle humour. But whereas some of the sex scenes were sufficiently funny or shocking or outrageous to genuinely add to the plot, some seemed fairly gratuitous. We all know that sex sells, but Mann has a compelling enough of a story to tell without needing to rely so heavily on its sexual elements. I was struck by the way in which she has lived through and seen the very worst of organised religion, and yet remains deeply and vibrantly Jewish.

Losing my Religion? Moving on from Evangelical Faith by Gordon Lynch
It all rang very, very true. But what I couldn't quite work out was whether Lynch's "I know I'm an intellectual but I'm going to make sure I explain myself in very simple terms so I can be sure you understand me" style was an ironic attempt to emulate evangelical preaching at its worst, or whether it simply reveals his view of evangelicals as a bit dim. Either way, the tone and style of his writing didn't strengthen his argument.

Madness by Marya Hornbacher
One of those good-but-not-as-good-as-the-first-book sequels, all somewhat lacking in plot. I didn't agree with her framework of philosophy of mental illness, but I knew even before reading that I wouldn't. What I really admired about it was the style and skill of Hornbacher's writing. I wish, I wish I could write that well.

Disappointment with God
by Philip Yancey
Yancey's always been a brave figure amongst evangelicals for his telling-it-like-it-is. I first read this a while back and it reminded me of what I've always been sure: it's not God I'm disappointed with, it's the Church. So maybe (despite my comments above) a sequel might be in order?

Power for God's Sake by Paul Beasley-Murray
The title, I suppose, says it all. I think the methodology of the study is a bit dated and somewhat tediously-explained and overjustified... could he not have snuck it in an appendix at the back? But some very good points about Jesus, and what he was like as a church leader.

I can see my page-stats taking a nosedive. I'll come back to life soon, Dear Readers, I promise...

Sunday 3 August 2008

Did God ever even intend the Church?

I'm asking this question on The Crowded Handbasket. Do pop over there and comment...

Saturday 2 August 2008

Grace and Beloved's ChurchSearch Week 6.75: St Pixels

St Pixels being the online "church" sponsored by the UK Methodists.

Friendly people. I think I'll stick around and try and get to know the place. If I were still failing to get on in any local church, I'd be happy to make it my main or regular fellowship. As much, though, as I enjoy all most quiet and reflective forms of devotion, the silent sessions in the chatroom-style worship do seem something of an oxymoron. I'd be curious to see what happened if someone were to start *leaping around in joy* and shouting 'HALLELUJAH' and 'PRAISE THE LORD'. Maybe there still remains an inner charismatic in me, waiting to be suitably disinhibited to jump around a bit. Maybe, after all these weeks of normal, sensible parish C of Es and sedate ecumenical partnerships and friendly informal groups, maybe it's time for us to investigate something a bit louder tomorrow morning..?

(If anyone out there's ever at St Pixels, I'm gracegrace on there... my avatar's got lots of blonde hair and sneaks a cup of tea into each prayer meeting. Come and introduce yourself to me...)

Friday 1 August 2008

How many women do you know that have been beaten up by Christian ministers?

Offhand, I can think of seven women (and one man, too) I know who have experienced both physical and sexual violence at the hands of ordained and respected ministers of Christ. And given that one in four women* will at some point suffer some form of domestic abuse and given that research demonstrates that religious affiliation or stature does nothing to mitigate against the chances of a man becoming an abuser**, and given that the social pressure not to disclose abuse within churches is far greater than the taboo against speaking about domestic violence in general society, I probably know very many more than seven. I have to assume, too, that there will be many women (and some men) reading this, too, with their own personal stories to tell...

And yet, Bishop Catherine Roskam has caused outrage and offence by her assertion that some of the bishops at the Lambeth conference beat their wives. Three most ostrich-like quotes from bishops interviewed appeared in The Times yesterday
The Archbishop of York [John Sentanu] said: "I have never beaten my wife ... I hope Bishop Catherine has got statistics and figures, because if not she is in danger of causing an unnecessary rumpus."

Bishop Nathaniel Nakwatumbah of Namibia said: "I do not beat my wife. That is ridiculous. There are such great people gathering here in ecclesial spirit. It is inconceivable that a bishop would beat his wife."

Bishop David James, of Bradford, said: "I do not beat my wife who I love very much and who is a tremendous support to me. Of the bishops I have met from around the world, which is quite a number, I have no reason to suspect that any of them do.

However, there was one less definite comment

Bishop Zache Duracin of Haiti said: "I do not know any bishops who beat their wives. But she may be aware of some."

So could one of the journalists covering Lambeth please, please track down and ask Mme Duracin how much she knows?

And so if /when anyone does ask Mme Duracin, or any other of the 600+ wives at Lambeth, if they themselves or anyone else they knew there was being beaten, what would happen?


*according to Womens Aid
** This statement appeared in a manual on domestic violence that I was asked to read in a job I had several years ago. I can't find a source for this - can anyone else?