Traffic to this blog has slowed almost to a standstill. I'm currently getting less than ten page hits a day. *Grace extracts her violin* I have the following theories about why this might be...
1. I bore all first-time visitors so they never come back, never link me, never tell their friends about me. I mean, do most people out there care about how Grace can't find a church that'll welcome her husband? Wouldn't they rather be hearing the more intimate details of our sex life?
2. I'm so intent on keeping this blog anonymous that I can't really promote myself to anyone. I've scribbled down the address to Steve, to Lampbus and to One of Beloved's Students (all of whom seemed both particularly interested and exceptionally discreet) and I've carried over a few trusted friends from previous blogs (Erika, Erin, Lilwatchergirl, MadPriest, Eileen, my Mum) and then there's Caroline, with whom I got into blogging in the first place. I'm not going to be advertising myself on my Facebook page (which is still getting multiple visits from former colleagues) or linking my blog to the Proper Bits of Writing I do...
3. I don't get involved in blogospheric controversy and dramas. I love reading the sparring matches which take place on OCICBW, Doorman-Priest, and MentalNurse, but really, I've got enough to get wound up about in offline life already...
4. "Jesus Wept" is hardly a cutting-edge or sexy title. I'm sure that if I renamed by blog "Grace has 32B cleavage" or "Hot new nude Paris Hilton vids", I'd be getting a few more page hits through Google...
But still, at least I've got nothing much else to worry about now...
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
Friday, 11 July 2008
why a dozen or so of my posts have disappeared
Because I've just been offered a job. I hadn't written about the employer in question on the blog (well, I did, but it was only a little, little bit about their fantastic admin systems...) but I know that, over the past few weeks, I've written things that might risk my soon-to-be Place of Employment finding me online here. So, I just need some time to think and maybe do a bit of editing before I put the posts back up.
Huge and massive thank yous, though, to everyone who's been cheering me through these interviews. God seems nice again now, too. Thanks up there.
Huge and massive thank yous, though, to everyone who's been cheering me through these interviews. God seems nice again now, too. Thanks up there.
an anecdote wot proves there is nice employment practice out there really
I've just got back from an early morning trip to the local 24 hour supermarket. I'd needed nail polish remover, tea bags and apples. As one does, and all.
This is what I overheard...
SHIFT SUPERVISOR: How you doing there mate? Aren't you about due your break?
SHELF STACKER: (in limited English) No I fine. But I only need call, call Nature.
SHIFT SUPERVISOR: (extracting mobile from pocket) No problem there mate. Call whoever you want. Use my mobile.
SHELF STACKER: No, I need, I need (stage whisper in Supervisor's ear)
SHIFT SUPERVISOR: Yes mate, you don't need to ask my permission. But for future reference, it's the call of nature...
Lovely, I think.
This is what I overheard...
SHIFT SUPERVISOR: How you doing there mate? Aren't you about due your break?
SHELF STACKER: (in limited English) No I fine. But I only need call, call Nature.
SHIFT SUPERVISOR: (extracting mobile from pocket) No problem there mate. Call whoever you want. Use my mobile.
SHELF STACKER: No, I need, I need (stage whisper in Supervisor's ear)
SHIFT SUPERVISOR: Yes mate, you don't need to ask my permission. But for future reference, it's the call of nature...
Lovely, I think.
Monday, 7 July 2008
life imitates blog
Caroline has credited me as the Person Who Got Her Into Blogging. I don't think she needed much encouragement. Right from the start, she's been getting more hits than me. She just writes so, so incredibly well. Welcome, then, to all the through traffic I'm getting from her.
Lilwatchergirl and I (plus Beloved and The Girl) met at St Pancras on last night. Amazing really, how a person can in real life be as similar as they are on their blogs. Lovely evening. Fantastic couple.
Right. I now need to get started on my presentation for this next interview. But anyone esle out there fancy a coffee/glass of wine?
Lilwatchergirl and I (plus Beloved and The Girl) met at St Pancras on last night. Amazing really, how a person can in real life be as similar as they are on their blogs. Lovely evening. Fantastic couple.
Right. I now need to get started on my presentation for this next interview. But anyone esle out there fancy a coffee/glass of wine?
Grace and Beloved's ChurchSearch Week 3: Grace takes Beloved back to her teenage church
Whereas most churches have a cross or crucifix or altar at the front, Big Charismatic Baptist Church has a giant world map. Whereas Place of Former Employment sees its mission as to a small inner-city neighbourhood, BCBC sees it as to the world. Whereas PoFE employs a few people for its community work, BCBC sends and supports dozens of missionaries across the globe. BCBC is, then, the sort of place that's really exciting to be part of as a teenager: you feel the world as at your fingertips and that you can make a difference.
BCBC is, however, a Church with a Past. In the seventies, one of its leading lights landed them into all sorts of theological controversies over Baptism in the Holy Spirit (which it liked) and The Place of Woman (which it didn't). So whereas they're obviously the type of church with a predisposition to declaim to individuals that their life choices will land them in hell (they tried this when they found out I was doing a degree involving the study of Islam), they don't like to be portrayed as the Lunatic Fringe they probably are.
The first time Beloved and BCBC leadership found themselves in the same room, there was Controversy. Suffice to say, it ended in the wife of said leader being banned from attending our wedding. Oh pleeeeeease...
It was thus with some trepidation we went back yesterday. Instead of running into any of the leadership, though, we met Catrina. Catrina and I were in the youth group together and it's Catrina who had the Dramatic Healing. It didn't even seem remarkable at the time. When she turned up to the group that night to tell us that her ever-worsening chronic backache had been diagnosed as a serious skeletal deformity that could render her immobile within months without surgery, we just did what 16 year old Charismatics did it such situations, and laid Catrina down on the floor to pray for her. And we prayed for her. And we saw her spine straighten and her pelvis realign. It didn't surprise us that God did this. It didn't surprise us that Catrina had no further pain, nor that she was suddenly three inches taller than before we'd prayed... and nor that, the following week, Catrina was deemed by doctors no longer in need of surgical intervention. God did it, we knew.
I wish that I still expected so much from God and from churches. I wish that I still had that sort of faith. Still, though, even now I experience God so much more easily in BCBC than in any other church I've ever visited or been part of. With Beloved in tow, I know that I would never be welcomed or accepted as a BCBC member (and, of course, being a woman is still a bit iffy... oh pleeeeease) but for once in a while, for a quick injection of nostalgia, hope and faith, yes, it's OK...
BCBC is, however, a Church with a Past. In the seventies, one of its leading lights landed them into all sorts of theological controversies over Baptism in the Holy Spirit (which it liked) and The Place of Woman (which it didn't). So whereas they're obviously the type of church with a predisposition to declaim to individuals that their life choices will land them in hell (they tried this when they found out I was doing a degree involving the study of Islam), they don't like to be portrayed as the Lunatic Fringe they probably are.
The first time Beloved and BCBC leadership found themselves in the same room, there was Controversy. Suffice to say, it ended in the wife of said leader being banned from attending our wedding. Oh pleeeeeease...
It was thus with some trepidation we went back yesterday. Instead of running into any of the leadership, though, we met Catrina. Catrina and I were in the youth group together and it's Catrina who had the Dramatic Healing. It didn't even seem remarkable at the time. When she turned up to the group that night to tell us that her ever-worsening chronic backache had been diagnosed as a serious skeletal deformity that could render her immobile within months without surgery, we just did what 16 year old Charismatics did it such situations, and laid Catrina down on the floor to pray for her. And we prayed for her. And we saw her spine straighten and her pelvis realign. It didn't surprise us that God did this. It didn't surprise us that Catrina had no further pain, nor that she was suddenly three inches taller than before we'd prayed... and nor that, the following week, Catrina was deemed by doctors no longer in need of surgical intervention. God did it, we knew.
I wish that I still expected so much from God and from churches. I wish that I still had that sort of faith. Still, though, even now I experience God so much more easily in BCBC than in any other church I've ever visited or been part of. With Beloved in tow, I know that I would never be welcomed or accepted as a BCBC member (and, of course, being a woman is still a bit iffy... oh pleeeeease) but for once in a while, for a quick injection of nostalgia, hope and faith, yes, it's OK...
There was, of course, an extremely high standard demonstrated by all our interviewees
Maybe I should write a manual of less utterly cliched ways for interview panels to reject people.
I wish they'd just spare me the platitudes and tell me in the first sentence they don't want me.
I wish they'd just spare me the platitudes and tell me in the first sentence they don't want me.
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
more self-pitying whining...
I've just realised that I know one of the men on my next interview panel. His name had always sounded vaguely familiar - but then, as Jim Smith, it easily could have. But last night, one of my friends-from-way-back informed me that, several years back, Jim Smith offered me a job and I turned it down. Given that I am able to recall sending my CV to someone else in what was then Jim Smith's organisation, and given that I know I remember virtually nothing about this period of my life, I'm prepared to accept my friend is probably right.
But what my friend doesn't know, and what I totally cannot understand is what the job was, why I turned the job down, how I turned the job down and thus whether I have met, spoken to, conversed with, discussed the job with, emailed or written to Jim Smith.
D'oh.
But what my friend doesn't know, and what I totally cannot understand is what the job was, why I turned the job down, how I turned the job down and thus whether I have met, spoken to, conversed with, discussed the job with, emailed or written to Jim Smith.
D'oh.
Monday, 30 June 2008
on a lighter note...
I've been shortlisted again. Twice.
*Grace keeps her lips very sealed in case anyone who might be interviewing her reads this and guesses who she might be*
*Grace keeps her lips very sealed in case anyone who might be interviewing her reads this and guesses who she might be*
Grace and Beloved's ChurchSearch Week 2: Grace starts crying halfway to another new church and decides to come home instead
That says it all, essentially. I'm at a point where I don't want to walk into a new church looking all emo and snivelly and dishevelled, where I don't want anyone's first impression of me to be one of patronisingness or sympathy or pity or a pastoral care assignment. That's not to say that I'd never cry or get upset in front of church people (it's not something I have a great deal of control over, much of the time), but I want to do all I can to start off with people seeing me as thoughtful, intelligent and aiming to serve, affording me equality, crebility and respect. And so, at 10.23am, we returned home.
Beloved says that people in churches should learn to accept the fulness of one another's life experience and that if I'd gone into a service crying that it shouldn't have mattered. Jesus, from the look of the gospels, would undoubetdly agree. But I just don't want any more messy and [*Grace struggles to avoid use of a four-letter word*] church relationships. But the whole point of Christ's message of grace is that all our human relationships (whether inside or outside of church structures) will be messy and imperfect yet endowed with the potential for healing and joy. So if I cut myself off from other Christians because I fear their sympathy and their pity, then I'm cutting myself off from God, too. And yet, even knowing that, yesterday I continued to ealk home.
Ultimately, then, I'm concluding that perhaps the question of being inside or outside the church becomes a secondary one. Perhaps instead, it's about the quality of the relationships developed, and the way in which God and faith and community are expressed through those relationships. The nebulous evangelical concept of a personal and individual relationship with God is fine, but as Teresa of Avila points out, Christ has no body on earth but ours...
Once we were home, Beloved and I sat on the sofa eating leftover fruit salad. And Beloved said "I just want a way of worshipping where we can talk to people, where we can be with them."
Yes.
Beloved says that people in churches should learn to accept the fulness of one another's life experience and that if I'd gone into a service crying that it shouldn't have mattered. Jesus, from the look of the gospels, would undoubetdly agree. But I just don't want any more messy and [*Grace struggles to avoid use of a four-letter word*] church relationships. But the whole point of Christ's message of grace is that all our human relationships (whether inside or outside of church structures) will be messy and imperfect yet endowed with the potential for healing and joy. So if I cut myself off from other Christians because I fear their sympathy and their pity, then I'm cutting myself off from God, too. And yet, even knowing that, yesterday I continued to ealk home.
Ultimately, then, I'm concluding that perhaps the question of being inside or outside the church becomes a secondary one. Perhaps instead, it's about the quality of the relationships developed, and the way in which God and faith and community are expressed through those relationships. The nebulous evangelical concept of a personal and individual relationship with God is fine, but as Teresa of Avila points out, Christ has no body on earth but ours...
Once we were home, Beloved and I sat on the sofa eating leftover fruit salad. And Beloved said "I just want a way of worshipping where we can talk to people, where we can be with them."
Yes.
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Grace and Beloved's ChurchSearch Week 1.5: A community formed outside of institutional structures ie Group Process Discussion
Steve and several other people have been challenging me to think, if I believe that Christ is accessible in all places and discernable within all people, why do I limit myself to the traditional understanding of Church in seeking a worshipping community? Why can I not find faith, grace, hope, love and God in those around me?
So I thought I'd have a go, this evening. To go into a situation familiar (to me at least) and to seek to identify what of God I could find there.
Basically, a living room full of people there for camomile tea and a discussion on the meaning of guilt. An incredibly diverse collection of people, most of whom I've known, listened to, shouted at, cooked for on a regular basis for a few years. So I know the set up. Sitting there, though, thinking about what I could find of God and community there, that was new.
In some ways, it's easy. People are very accepting, tolerant of one another, warm with one another. There's not the moral pressure found in churches which can drive people to pretend they're something they're not.
In other ways, it's hard. With no shared value systems and no common frame of reference, it's hard to discuss a topic such as guilt as anything beyond the individual, beyond the interpersonal; there's no room to consider anything beyond, I cannot talk about my relationship with God as absorbing (most of) my guilt, there's no ultimate Other. In essence, it becomes merely about the group worshipping itself. But then, Durkheim says that's all that organised religion does anyway. Thinking of the many church groups I've been too which degenerated into an aren't-we-a-marvellous-fellowship mutual backslapping, I think he has a point.
I know I need to value the friends and the relationships and the community I have as a gift from God and as a place to experience Christ. However, I think I do still want a church, too...
So I thought I'd have a go, this evening. To go into a situation familiar (to me at least) and to seek to identify what of God I could find there.
Basically, a living room full of people there for camomile tea and a discussion on the meaning of guilt. An incredibly diverse collection of people, most of whom I've known, listened to, shouted at, cooked for on a regular basis for a few years. So I know the set up. Sitting there, though, thinking about what I could find of God and community there, that was new.
In some ways, it's easy. People are very accepting, tolerant of one another, warm with one another. There's not the moral pressure found in churches which can drive people to pretend they're something they're not.
In other ways, it's hard. With no shared value systems and no common frame of reference, it's hard to discuss a topic such as guilt as anything beyond the individual, beyond the interpersonal; there's no room to consider anything beyond, I cannot talk about my relationship with God as absorbing (most of) my guilt, there's no ultimate Other. In essence, it becomes merely about the group worshipping itself. But then, Durkheim says that's all that organised religion does anyway. Thinking of the many church groups I've been too which degenerated into an aren't-we-a-marvellous-fellowship mutual backslapping, I think he has a point.
I know I need to value the friends and the relationships and the community I have as a gift from God and as a place to experience Christ. However, I think I do still want a church, too...
Monday, 23 June 2008
Sunday, 22 June 2008
Grace and Beloved's ChurchSearch Week 1: St Catherine's Parish Church
At St Catherine's this morning, during an unusually relaxed and somewhat chaotic Anglican service, I had a tambourine thrust very firmly into my hands.
Tambourines always make me giggle, especially when I'm nervous. And then there were the sparkly pink flags to wave about in worship, which a group of 7 year olds spent most of each song playing swordfighting with.
An intriguing church then. The main role of the vicar seemed to be to disentangle cardigans snagged on the indoor azaleas, everyone else leading the service was in their teens or below, and everyone else in the congregation was in their seventies or above. But there was energy there, and joy, and a real warmth towards the young people.
How would I feel about making it our regular church? Fine - but please, never ask me to play the tambourine.
Tambourines always make me giggle, especially when I'm nervous. And then there were the sparkly pink flags to wave about in worship, which a group of 7 year olds spent most of each song playing swordfighting with.
An intriguing church then. The main role of the vicar seemed to be to disentangle cardigans snagged on the indoor azaleas, everyone else leading the service was in their teens or below, and everyone else in the congregation was in their seventies or above. But there was energy there, and joy, and a real warmth towards the young people.
How would I feel about making it our regular church? Fine - but please, never ask me to play the tambourine.
Thursday, 19 June 2008
‘Would you mind explaining for us the gaps in your CV?’
The dreaded, dreaded interview question... and one in which I have come unstuck in at least half a dozen job interviews in recent years. Basically, I believe that honesty is (generally) the best policy and I would (probably) never lie... but that still doesn’t mean I want to be entirely open. For the following reasons
1. Whenever I’ve disclosed in a job interview that the 4 years of gaps in my CV have been through not being able to work or study because of having been a bit mental, I’ve been turned down for the job in question... every single time*. When I’ve not been asked, I’ve been offered around 40% of the jobs for which I’ve been interviewed.
2. I don’t want to use, adhere to, align myself with or define myself by the conventional, medicalised constructs, categories or diagnoses of mental health or illness**. And to talk about being unwell or in distress still sound all twee and drippy. So I don’t really have a clear frame of reference from which to talk.
3. It’s generally not something I’m hugely comfortable talking about, even to friendly and open-minded people***.
So, given that I don’t want to lie, don’t want to disclose and don’t want to fail every interview I attend... where does one go from here?
Applying to work for a Christian organisation provides several options. As follows
1. ‘Praise the Lord, I’ve been healed! Hallelujah!’ If the interview panel responds with a resounding and collective ‘A-Men! Praise the Lord’, you know you’ve got away with it, hallelujah. This relies, though, on the interview panel all holding to a dogmatic theology of a God who heals instantly, with a healing never to be questioned. And on them not hearing the tone of irony in your voice.
2. ‘I’m being healed through the grace of Christ.’ This may satisfy an interview panel with a more nuanced, integrated eschatology and may make you come across as all deep and spiritual. However, they may be aware that, theologically speaking, it’s a fairly meaningless statement. For the world into which Jesus was born, the concepts of salvation and healing were linguistically and conceptually indistinguishable from one another. Therefore, as we’re on a journey of salvation, we’re being gradually healed, because we’re all of us in need of both. So ultimately, to say ‘I’m being healed through the grace of Christ’ is simply to say ‘I’m a Christian’. And they’ll know that.
But it’s not a Christian organisation for which I’m about to be interviewed. This is, then, relatively new territory for me.
The Organisation For Which I’m About To Be Interviewed (OFWIATBI) is big enough to have its own confidential employee helpline. And so I rang them, putting 141 in front of the number to anonymise the call and declining to provide the helpline advisor with my name, prospective job title or geographical location. She reassured me that the helpdesk receive ‘several calls each year’ from people applying for their jobs worrying about how or whether to disclose ‘a history of mental health issues’ (her words not mine) to explain a ‘lack of past employment’ (again, her words). Her advice was, ‘Just tell them that you were ill. And go online and have a read of our Equal Opportunities Statement.’
I thanked her, and rang the Careers Service at my old university. They asked me to email them my CV so that they could see for themselves the glaring holes. The advisor rang back to say ‘look Grace, you’ve probably got to be upfront, or else they’ll assume you’ve been in prison and aren’t telling them, especially as it’s a post they can’t CRB check you for. I accept your point that you believe your chances for this job might be better if you had been in prison than in hospital... but, now how to put this, wouldn’t you rather be regarded as mad than bad, really Grace...?’
Next, I rang the JobcentrePlus. After telling me that they could not handle my enquiry without my National Insurance number and not-quite-listening to my questions, the patronising arsehole of an advisor butted in with ‘but honestly, could you even cope with the job? But you know dear, you’ve got a lovely voice, and you know they new call centre they’re setting up behind Asda, maybe that’d be more realistic....’ I thanked her, made my excuses and hung up.
Finally, I rang the EHRC****. As much as I don’t do labelling or diagnosis, their helpline advisor was utterly textbook ADHD. Our conversation went something as follows
HIM: Well, given that you spent so long off work, you could probably claim DLA on the grounds of the stigma you must be suffering will severely disadvantage you in any future workplace*****.
ME: OK, but in terms of my question. In terms of the interview...
HIM: Yes, but you’ll need to be thinking now about what Reasonable Adjustments you might need to carry out the job.
ME: But the only adjustment I’m seeking is to be treated fairly at the interview. The job itself, I’m not asking for anything else for.
HIM: Yes, but suppose you had diabetes...
ME: Er, sorry?
HIM: Yeah, like, suppose you had diabetes and needed breaks throughout the working day to inject yourself and you’re colleagues were objecting.
ME: But I don’t have diabetes.
HIM: I’m just trying to get you to think, about what it might be like in the job.
ME: But all I’m asking is for advice for the interview, about...
HIM: What, they’ve offered you an interview?
I still feel, then, no further forward. I rang a friend, who said ‘buy yourself some new nail polish and remember to keep smiling.’ Possibly the clearest advice I’m going to get...
* The Mental Health Foundation survey of 2001 found that 63% of employers would categorically refuse to consider employing a person with gaps in their CV caused by ‘mental health problems’... though how the survey defined/conceptualised the phrase ‘mental health problems’ (a phrase I hate) is unclear. A Mind survey from around this time (I can’t find the reference) found that people who’ve been in prison experience less hassle in obtaining work than those who’ve been in mental hospitals. The Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) of 2005 tries to say this shouldn’t happen. However, a 2007 study from Durham University managed to statistically demonstrate that the DDA has done nothing to combat discrimination against job applicants. The problem being, that you need to disclose that you’ve mad (or have ‘a past history of mental health condition/s’ ) in order to claim DDA protection, which doesn’t even in itself work.
** Think Szasz, Laing, Engels, Ilych
***This does not apply after 2.4 units or more of alcohol. Give me a glass of crisp, dry chardonnay and I'll tell you anything. But I would never drink before a job interview.
****The Equalities and Human Rights Commission.
*****As far I ever I am aware, this is not true. Being afraid of workplace discrimination is not a valid category under which anyone can claim state benefits. A somewhat incontinent friend once tried, and was instructed by the DWP tribunal to wear more deodorant.
1. Whenever I’ve disclosed in a job interview that the 4 years of gaps in my CV have been through not being able to work or study because of having been a bit mental, I’ve been turned down for the job in question... every single time*. When I’ve not been asked, I’ve been offered around 40% of the jobs for which I’ve been interviewed.
2. I don’t want to use, adhere to, align myself with or define myself by the conventional, medicalised constructs, categories or diagnoses of mental health or illness**. And to talk about being unwell or in distress still sound all twee and drippy. So I don’t really have a clear frame of reference from which to talk.
3. It’s generally not something I’m hugely comfortable talking about, even to friendly and open-minded people***.
So, given that I don’t want to lie, don’t want to disclose and don’t want to fail every interview I attend... where does one go from here?
Applying to work for a Christian organisation provides several options. As follows
1. ‘Praise the Lord, I’ve been healed! Hallelujah!’ If the interview panel responds with a resounding and collective ‘A-Men! Praise the Lord’, you know you’ve got away with it, hallelujah. This relies, though, on the interview panel all holding to a dogmatic theology of a God who heals instantly, with a healing never to be questioned. And on them not hearing the tone of irony in your voice.
2. ‘I’m being healed through the grace of Christ.’ This may satisfy an interview panel with a more nuanced, integrated eschatology and may make you come across as all deep and spiritual. However, they may be aware that, theologically speaking, it’s a fairly meaningless statement. For the world into which Jesus was born, the concepts of salvation and healing were linguistically and conceptually indistinguishable from one another. Therefore, as we’re on a journey of salvation, we’re being gradually healed, because we’re all of us in need of both. So ultimately, to say ‘I’m being healed through the grace of Christ’ is simply to say ‘I’m a Christian’. And they’ll know that.
But it’s not a Christian organisation for which I’m about to be interviewed. This is, then, relatively new territory for me.
The Organisation For Which I’m About To Be Interviewed (OFWIATBI) is big enough to have its own confidential employee helpline. And so I rang them, putting 141 in front of the number to anonymise the call and declining to provide the helpline advisor with my name, prospective job title or geographical location. She reassured me that the helpdesk receive ‘several calls each year’ from people applying for their jobs worrying about how or whether to disclose ‘a history of mental health issues’ (her words not mine) to explain a ‘lack of past employment’ (again, her words). Her advice was, ‘Just tell them that you were ill. And go online and have a read of our Equal Opportunities Statement.’
I thanked her, and rang the Careers Service at my old university. They asked me to email them my CV so that they could see for themselves the glaring holes. The advisor rang back to say ‘look Grace, you’ve probably got to be upfront, or else they’ll assume you’ve been in prison and aren’t telling them, especially as it’s a post they can’t CRB check you for. I accept your point that you believe your chances for this job might be better if you had been in prison than in hospital... but, now how to put this, wouldn’t you rather be regarded as mad than bad, really Grace...?’
Next, I rang the JobcentrePlus. After telling me that they could not handle my enquiry without my National Insurance number and not-quite-listening to my questions, the patronising arsehole of an advisor butted in with ‘but honestly, could you even cope with the job? But you know dear, you’ve got a lovely voice, and you know they new call centre they’re setting up behind Asda, maybe that’d be more realistic....’ I thanked her, made my excuses and hung up.
Finally, I rang the EHRC****. As much as I don’t do labelling or diagnosis, their helpline advisor was utterly textbook ADHD. Our conversation went something as follows
HIM: Well, given that you spent so long off work, you could probably claim DLA on the grounds of the stigma you must be suffering will severely disadvantage you in any future workplace*****.
ME: OK, but in terms of my question. In terms of the interview...
HIM: Yes, but you’ll need to be thinking now about what Reasonable Adjustments you might need to carry out the job.
ME: But the only adjustment I’m seeking is to be treated fairly at the interview. The job itself, I’m not asking for anything else for.
HIM: Yes, but suppose you had diabetes...
ME: Er, sorry?
HIM: Yeah, like, suppose you had diabetes and needed breaks throughout the working day to inject yourself and you’re colleagues were objecting.
ME: But I don’t have diabetes.
HIM: I’m just trying to get you to think, about what it might be like in the job.
ME: But all I’m asking is for advice for the interview, about...
HIM: What, they’ve offered you an interview?
I still feel, then, no further forward. I rang a friend, who said ‘buy yourself some new nail polish and remember to keep smiling.’ Possibly the clearest advice I’m going to get...
* The Mental Health Foundation survey of 2001 found that 63% of employers would categorically refuse to consider employing a person with gaps in their CV caused by ‘mental health problems’... though how the survey defined/conceptualised the phrase ‘mental health problems’ (a phrase I hate) is unclear. A Mind survey from around this time (I can’t find the reference) found that people who’ve been in prison experience less hassle in obtaining work than those who’ve been in mental hospitals. The Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) of 2005 tries to say this shouldn’t happen. However, a 2007 study from Durham University managed to statistically demonstrate that the DDA has done nothing to combat discrimination against job applicants. The problem being, that you need to disclose that you’ve mad (or have ‘a past history of mental health condition/s’ ) in order to claim DDA protection, which doesn’t even in itself work.
** Think Szasz, Laing, Engels, Ilych
***This does not apply after 2.4 units or more of alcohol. Give me a glass of crisp, dry chardonnay and I'll tell you anything. But I would never drink before a job interview.
****The Equalities and Human Rights Commission.
*****As far I ever I am aware, this is not true. Being afraid of workplace discrimination is not a valid category under which anyone can claim state benefits. A somewhat incontinent friend once tried, and was instructed by the DWP tribunal to wear more deodorant.
grace plants a bush
They'd asked me back to my Place of Former Employment this morning, so that they could present me with an azalea. It's a good thing that someone across the room exclaimed "oh what a beautiful azalea", otherwise I'd not have known what it was. And it's a good thing someone else exclaimed "oooh that'll look lovely planted into your new garden", otherwise I'd have kept the azalea on the dining room table in its pot and probably killed it. Nobody has ever given me a garden plant as a gift before. Nobody around my Place of Former Employment where I used to live ever planted anything into their gardens*. Or if they did, they were nicked by the bairns climbing over the fence. So now, yes, they're telling me I've moved away, that now I live where you can plant an azalea. I'll wait until the rain has stopped, then I'll ring my mum who will explain exactly how I plant my azalea.
They were all getting nostalgic and I couldn't. However, I suddenly realised that I'm not angry with them any more. Ten years of my life there, yes... but I cannot fault their motives. They're working in such a complex, such a deprived and daunting place that they simply don't have the energy for the self-reflection they'd need to realise what they're doing, how they're unwittingly turning their backs to people, how they're inadvertently generating a dependency which perpetuates all the problems of the community... at least they've spent the last 400 years trying, which is more than can be said for anyone else. The state has spent the last 30 years putting the community into every regeneration scheme, initiative and intervention going... various New Deals, Sure Starts, all the Action Zones... with few discernible benefits simply because none of the sundry professionals have taken time to get to know the area or build relationships with the people before they demolish flats or remove children. So, yes, the church can sometimes relate to people in the very most crassly colonial, us-and-them, servant-recipient, saved-Unwashed** dichotomies, but at least they keep trying. And that, surely, has got to convey some love.
And now, having ceased to feel fury towards my Place of Former Employment and the church and the Church, I just want to find somewhere else that's worship and community and love. But this time, somewhere where there's a bit of freedom and independence and autonomy and free-thinking allowed, too...
* One summer, many, many years back, the previous management organised me a day trip to an azalea garden, in the way that one apparently does in such circumstances. I experienced the worst case of phenothiazine photosensitivity I'd ever seen, and they all got a bit scared.
** See Jeanette Winterson, "Oranges are Not the Only Fruit".
They were all getting nostalgic and I couldn't. However, I suddenly realised that I'm not angry with them any more. Ten years of my life there, yes... but I cannot fault their motives. They're working in such a complex, such a deprived and daunting place that they simply don't have the energy for the self-reflection they'd need to realise what they're doing, how they're unwittingly turning their backs to people, how they're inadvertently generating a dependency which perpetuates all the problems of the community... at least they've spent the last 400 years trying, which is more than can be said for anyone else. The state has spent the last 30 years putting the community into every regeneration scheme, initiative and intervention going... various New Deals, Sure Starts, all the Action Zones... with few discernible benefits simply because none of the sundry professionals have taken time to get to know the area or build relationships with the people before they demolish flats or remove children. So, yes, the church can sometimes relate to people in the very most crassly colonial, us-and-them, servant-recipient, saved-Unwashed** dichotomies, but at least they keep trying. And that, surely, has got to convey some love.
And now, having ceased to feel fury towards my Place of Former Employment and the church and the Church, I just want to find somewhere else that's worship and community and love. But this time, somewhere where there's a bit of freedom and independence and autonomy and free-thinking allowed, too...
* One summer, many, many years back, the previous management organised me a day trip to an azalea garden, in the way that one apparently does in such circumstances. I experienced the worst case of phenothiazine photosensitivity I'd ever seen, and they all got a bit scared.
** See Jeanette Winterson, "Oranges are Not the Only Fruit".
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
On being a fried egg for Jesus
I do have many skills. Acting isn't one of them.
And yet, I'd decided that, in trying out new churches, I'd be open to all spiritual and social possibilities they or their people offered.
And thus, I found myself at an Improvisation class this evening. Although it reminded me exactly why I failed drama at school, it left feeling more relaxed than I've been in weeks.
So maybe Jesus was there, after all...
And yet, I'd decided that, in trying out new churches, I'd be open to all spiritual and social possibilities they or their people offered.
And thus, I found myself at an Improvisation class this evening. Although it reminded me exactly why I failed drama at school, it left feeling more relaxed than I've been in weeks.
So maybe Jesus was there, after all...
Monday, 16 June 2008
[?]
Day 5 now of jobless, workless, economic inactivity. It's not that I believe one needs to be generating an income to be of benefit to society. It's just that, well... it's a bit, er, quiet here on my own. I might have to start watching Jeremy Kyle.
So far, though, my job/work/beneficialitytosociety-seeking has not gone badly...
[edit to prevent any potential employer finding me here...]
And I'm wondering, what do other people who walk out of church jobs do?
1. I knew someone who trained as a school RS teacher. How he found it, I don't know...
2. I knew someone else who trained as a secular vocalist and ended up, I think, in a local emo/goth band. Given my musical abilities, not even worth going there.
3. I knew someone else who had three (more) children and looked after them at home whilst his girfriend (on whose account he lost the job) went out to work.
4. I knew someone else who went back to studying and publishing on the Bible. Hmmmm. But as in, how many jobs are there in the UK doing that?
5. I knew someone else who got ordained in a different denomination. He had to move house because of the graffiti and things thrown at his windows... yes, in Britain this century.
The answer is, I don't really know, or don't know what I'm doing at all...
*Grace resumes searching for her scanner cable, and puts the kettle back on*
So far, though, my job/work/beneficialitytosociety-seeking has not gone badly...
[edit to prevent any potential employer finding me here...]
And I'm wondering, what do other people who walk out of church jobs do?
1. I knew someone who trained as a school RS teacher. How he found it, I don't know...
2. I knew someone else who trained as a secular vocalist and ended up, I think, in a local emo/goth band. Given my musical abilities, not even worth going there.
3. I knew someone else who had three (more) children and looked after them at home whilst his girfriend (on whose account he lost the job) went out to work.
4. I knew someone else who went back to studying and publishing on the Bible. Hmmmm. But as in, how many jobs are there in the UK doing that?
5. I knew someone else who got ordained in a different denomination. He had to move house because of the graffiti and things thrown at his windows... yes, in Britain this century.
The answer is, I don't really know, or don't know what I'm doing at all...
*Grace resumes searching for her scanner cable, and puts the kettle back on*
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
"We'd had a lively discussion in the office about whether to buy you book tokens for a Christian bookshop or to buy, you know, secular book tokens"
One of those throwaway comments that inadvertently manages to encapsulate a decade*.
They'd decided for my last day to buy me tokens for the local Christian book shop to thank God for my hard work for them.
I'm sitting with the cat, the laptop and a bottle of wine, browsing the CLC website**.
* The explanation for this statement has been removed by the blog administrator as it may have led to Grace's former place of employment launching libel action against her. Please address all queries to God instead.
** How 'bout this for a purchase?
They'd decided for my last day to buy me tokens for the local Christian book shop to thank God for my hard work for them.
I'm sitting with the cat, the laptop and a bottle of wine, browsing the CLC website**.
* The explanation for this statement has been removed by the blog administrator as it may have led to Grace's former place of employment launching libel action against her. Please address all queries to God instead.
** How 'bout this for a purchase?
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
jesus wept even harder
Nobody should die like that in this country, ever.
I've never seen the minister who conducted the funeral looking so entirely out-of-his-depth in front of a congregation.
It's my last day working there tomorrow.
I've never seen the minister who conducted the funeral looking so entirely out-of-his-depth in front of a congregation.
It's my last day working there tomorrow.
Sunday, 8 June 2008
how I managed to reconnect with my inner evangelical
By reading on Facebook that Valeska has changed her religious views from "wondering about many things" to "Christian"... and by finding myself absolutely, utterly delighted.
Valeska and I met online at 3am at some point in 1998 or thereabouts, back when the idea of finding someone from your home town online was a startling coincidence and back when becoming friends with someone you'd met online was all edgy and postmodern. This being back in 1998, when the thought of her being a knife-wielding pervert didn't even cross my mind, we agreed to meet at 3am the next morning. (Like, as you do.) So yes, we go back a while, Valeska and I. And given that ours has been a friendship very much fuelled by our insomniac tendencies, we've spent a fair amount of time thinking about g/God/s/esses together.
So it's lovely not only to realise that I'm delighted that she's become a Christian because it proves my faith in it all is still alive, it's wonderful that Valeska's now a Christian because being a Christian is great. And it's wonderful, too, that I just wrote that...
Valeska and I met online at 3am at some point in 1998 or thereabouts, back when the idea of finding someone from your home town online was a startling coincidence and back when becoming friends with someone you'd met online was all edgy and postmodern. This being back in 1998, when the thought of her being a knife-wielding pervert didn't even cross my mind, we agreed to meet at 3am the next morning. (Like, as you do.) So yes, we go back a while, Valeska and I. And given that ours has been a friendship very much fuelled by our insomniac tendencies, we've spent a fair amount of time thinking about g/God/s/esses together.
So it's lovely not only to realise that I'm delighted that she's become a Christian because it proves my faith in it all is still alive, it's wonderful that Valeska's now a Christian because being a Christian is great. And it's wonderful, too, that I just wrote that...
Friday, 30 May 2008
"... and every man's death diminshes me"
A mum in her mid-thirties, four children, lived across the street from me, next door to where I work, dead.
Cause of death, factors that should never, never kill. A community that should never have been this way.
Prayers, please.
Cause of death, factors that should never, never kill. A community that should never have been this way.
Prayers, please.
Thursday, 22 May 2008
grace grabs headlines?
I had a call on my mobile this morning from a journalist wanting to know all about our wedding, wanting to write about us.
I can't decide whether I'm reading too much into the questions he was asking, or whether he was fishing for scandal, controversy and a backstory I was refusing to provide. But if he were looking for intrigue, there'd be other wedding guests less discreet than I who might be happy to bring it on.
As disappointed as I am by how badly my current church and place of employment has responded to our relationship, I don't want to see them shamed by the media for it.
Though it might give them something to think about...
I can't decide whether I'm reading too much into the questions he was asking, or whether he was fishing for scandal, controversy and a backstory I was refusing to provide. But if he were looking for intrigue, there'd be other wedding guests less discreet than I who might be happy to bring it on.
As disappointed as I am by how badly my current church and place of employment has responded to our relationship, I don't want to see them shamed by the media for it.
Though it might give them something to think about...
Monday, 19 May 2008
On being outed as losing faith in evangelicals. A conversation I entangled myself in today...
The scene is set at Grace's workplace
ADMINISTRATOR ... so now that we've arranged for you to go to Big Evangelistic Crusade on Thursday at 6, I'll have a ring round the volunteers to see who can cover for your 4.30 meeting with Statutory Agency.
GRACE (looking embarrassed and apologetic) I'm sorry, I should have realised the clash. It was before the honeymoon, though, that I'd arranged with Statutory Agency...
ADMINISTRATOR Really, Grace, don't worry about it. It'll be good experience for a volunteer.
GRACE Yes, but it's still supposed to be my responsibility. It's what I'm paid for here.
ADMINISTRATOR But you'll be wanting to go to Big Evangelistic Crusade, surely.
GRACE There'll be other chances. And all of our volunteers will be wanting to be there, too. I don't want to deprive any of them of the opportunity.
Enter TRUSTEE from stage left
TRUSTEE (interrupting) ... but we don't want to deprive you of the opportunity, Grace.
GRACE Thank you, that's kind.
ADMINISTRATOR So which would you rather do? Go to Big Evangelistic Crusade or a meeting with Statutory Agency?
GRACE I couldn't possibly answer.
TRUSTEE Why not?
GRACE It's not about which I prefer. It's about how I can best be used to serve God.
TRUSTEE That's deep of you.
ADMINISTRATOR But which would you prefer?
GRACE (taking a very deep breath) The meeting with Statutory Agency.
Pause
ADMINISTRATOR Right, so if I can't find anyone from amongst the volunteers to cover for the Statutory Agency meeting by the time the coach leaves for Big Evangelistic Crusade, I'll let you know...
ADMINISTRATOR ... so now that we've arranged for you to go to Big Evangelistic Crusade on Thursday at 6, I'll have a ring round the volunteers to see who can cover for your 4.30 meeting with Statutory Agency.
GRACE (looking embarrassed and apologetic) I'm sorry, I should have realised the clash. It was before the honeymoon, though, that I'd arranged with Statutory Agency...
ADMINISTRATOR Really, Grace, don't worry about it. It'll be good experience for a volunteer.
GRACE Yes, but it's still supposed to be my responsibility. It's what I'm paid for here.
ADMINISTRATOR But you'll be wanting to go to Big Evangelistic Crusade, surely.
GRACE There'll be other chances. And all of our volunteers will be wanting to be there, too. I don't want to deprive any of them of the opportunity.
Enter TRUSTEE from stage left
TRUSTEE (interrupting) ... but we don't want to deprive you of the opportunity, Grace.
GRACE Thank you, that's kind.
ADMINISTRATOR So which would you rather do? Go to Big Evangelistic Crusade or a meeting with Statutory Agency?
GRACE I couldn't possibly answer.
TRUSTEE Why not?
GRACE It's not about which I prefer. It's about how I can best be used to serve God.
TRUSTEE That's deep of you.
ADMINISTRATOR But which would you prefer?
GRACE (taking a very deep breath) The meeting with Statutory Agency.
Pause
ADMINISTRATOR Right, so if I can't find anyone from amongst the volunteers to cover for the Statutory Agency meeting by the time the coach leaves for Big Evangelistic Crusade, I'll let you know...
Saturday, 17 May 2008
back to work...
... and I resigned from my job.
They’re asking me why. I’m taking my time before responding. As a salaried employee, I am under no legal obligation to provide them with a reason or justification for my resignation. They say that until I provide a reason, the speculation will generate rumours. Given that I won’t be there to hear the rumours, I will risk a few days to collect my thoughts.
It was the wedding day which decided it. Or, more specifically, the chorister who opened the service with the words from Handel’s Messiah:
It was at that moment that I realised that I no longer needed to fight for my love for Beloved to be approved of, recognised or sacramentalised by any given church, or indeed by any particular person. God was there, and so were 200 people watching me walk down the aisle.
I don’t need to fight any longer. I need to concentrate on loving my new husband. And that may include finding a church which might respect my new husband a little more than the church which refused to marry us.
Yet after the turmoil of the engagement and all the various forms of explosiveness our marriage plans caused, all my working relationships there are so dismal that all endeavours to find a church that will respect Beloved would seem destined to cause more fighting.
I resigned because I did not want dismal working relationships within the church to distract me from my relationship with my new husband and with family any longer. I resigned because I did not want to fight the church or the Church any more.
The Bible, the church and the Church generally agree that committing to one’s partner and family should be considered more important than any other form of Christian service. In resigning from my job because resigning seems the only way to ensure I can do this, I am therefore doing nothing very controversial.
Except that, if I tell them that’s why I am leaving, I will have highlighted the ne'er-to-be-whispered truth that working for a church, Christian charity or faith-based social project can be so stressful that it can put relationships, families and marriages under almost intolerable pressure. That would be extremely controversial. And I resigned specifically because I wanted to stop causing controversy in the church.
With this in mind, do I disclose the true reason for my resignation?
If I do disclose the true reason for my resignation, I will – as demonstrated above – be launching a lump of something extremely brown and sticky at the proverbial.
But if I say something vague and fluffy and twee about seeking fresh pastures, I will have denied them a potentially very beneficial opportunity to learn from all that has happened.
And if I say nothing at all, I will no doubt soon hear that I have suffered a molar pregnancy rapidly progressing into a rare and deadly gynaecological malignancy. And the intrigue and concern of this will also deny them a potentially very beneficial opportunity to learn from all that has happened.
So really, I need to tell them at least something of why I’ve resigned.
Perhaps, newly-married or not, I’m destined to be at war with the church or Church forever...?
They’re asking me why. I’m taking my time before responding. As a salaried employee, I am under no legal obligation to provide them with a reason or justification for my resignation. They say that until I provide a reason, the speculation will generate rumours. Given that I won’t be there to hear the rumours, I will risk a few days to collect my thoughts.
It was the wedding day which decided it. Or, more specifically, the chorister who opened the service with the words from Handel’s Messiah:
And cry unto her, that her warfare, that her warfare is accomplished. And her iniquity is pardoned, her iniquity is pardoned. (Isaiah 40:2)
It was at that moment that I realised that I no longer needed to fight for my love for Beloved to be approved of, recognised or sacramentalised by any given church, or indeed by any particular person. God was there, and so were 200 people watching me walk down the aisle.
I don’t need to fight any longer. I need to concentrate on loving my new husband. And that may include finding a church which might respect my new husband a little more than the church which refused to marry us.
Yet after the turmoil of the engagement and all the various forms of explosiveness our marriage plans caused, all my working relationships there are so dismal that all endeavours to find a church that will respect Beloved would seem destined to cause more fighting.
I resigned because I did not want dismal working relationships within the church to distract me from my relationship with my new husband and with family any longer. I resigned because I did not want to fight the church or the Church any more.
The Bible, the church and the Church generally agree that committing to one’s partner and family should be considered more important than any other form of Christian service. In resigning from my job because resigning seems the only way to ensure I can do this, I am therefore doing nothing very controversial.
Except that, if I tell them that’s why I am leaving, I will have highlighted the ne'er-to-be-whispered truth that working for a church, Christian charity or faith-based social project can be so stressful that it can put relationships, families and marriages under almost intolerable pressure. That would be extremely controversial. And I resigned specifically because I wanted to stop causing controversy in the church.
With this in mind, do I disclose the true reason for my resignation?
If I do disclose the true reason for my resignation, I will – as demonstrated above – be launching a lump of something extremely brown and sticky at the proverbial.
But if I say something vague and fluffy and twee about seeking fresh pastures, I will have denied them a potentially very beneficial opportunity to learn from all that has happened.
And if I say nothing at all, I will no doubt soon hear that I have suffered a molar pregnancy rapidly progressing into a rare and deadly gynaecological malignancy. And the intrigue and concern of this will also deny them a potentially very beneficial opportunity to learn from all that has happened.
So really, I need to tell them at least something of why I’ve resigned.
Perhaps, newly-married or not, I’m destined to be at war with the church or Church forever...?
Thursday, 8 May 2008
honeymoon despatches
Firstly, to Erika´s daughter... huge, massive congratulations! If it had been my mum orchestrating the cancer-beating celebrations, she´d have sent me to school with a chocolate munch cake in the shape of a needle and drip... so it seems that on the embarrassment scale, you got away lightly with a banner. I hope the celebrations of your cancer-free life and future will continue...
Secondly, congratulations to the friend who declined our wedding invitation on the grounds that you had an unshakable intuitive sense that you´d be busy giving birth that day, despite it still being only 34 weeks into your pregnancy. By my estimation, your waters would have been breaking at the very moment we exchanged our vows (well, in my romantic imagination anyway... it can´t have been much after that) Lovely to see the photos of your new son...
And yes, we´re now married. Something which renders me somewhat devoid of words... not least because the organisation of the keyboard from which I´m typing this is making punçtuatioñ interesting¡ ´Start at the beginning´ He says ´something about the garden of Eden´. Forbidden fruit¿ Hmmmm. The all-inclusiveness of our reort passage meaning thereçs an unlimited abundance of all kinds of fruit at no extra cost. Except that only a few hundred miles from us, people are rioting in protest at food shortages, hunger and economic meltdown. A very sheltered, naive form of paradise, then, of a honeymoon.
One which follows, though, a very un-sheltered and reality-crunching wedding full of such life, warmth, faith, humour, dialogue, daffodils, chorality, chocolate and so much love... Thank you to all involved, and to all who came and supported what your consciences and families may have made it very costly for you to have come and supported (most of whom won´t be reading this anyway). And thanks to family. Of course.
Just feeling so grateful...
Secondly, congratulations to the friend who declined our wedding invitation on the grounds that you had an unshakable intuitive sense that you´d be busy giving birth that day, despite it still being only 34 weeks into your pregnancy. By my estimation, your waters would have been breaking at the very moment we exchanged our vows (well, in my romantic imagination anyway... it can´t have been much after that) Lovely to see the photos of your new son...
And yes, we´re now married. Something which renders me somewhat devoid of words... not least because the organisation of the keyboard from which I´m typing this is making punçtuatioñ interesting¡ ´Start at the beginning´ He says ´something about the garden of Eden´. Forbidden fruit¿ Hmmmm. The all-inclusiveness of our reort passage meaning thereçs an unlimited abundance of all kinds of fruit at no extra cost. Except that only a few hundred miles from us, people are rioting in protest at food shortages, hunger and economic meltdown. A very sheltered, naive form of paradise, then, of a honeymoon.
One which follows, though, a very un-sheltered and reality-crunching wedding full of such life, warmth, faith, humour, dialogue, daffodils, chorality, chocolate and so much love... Thank you to all involved, and to all who came and supported what your consciences and families may have made it very costly for you to have come and supported (most of whom won´t be reading this anyway). And thanks to family. Of course.
Just feeling so grateful...
Monday, 21 April 2008
Sunday, 20 April 2008
trying to write a wedding speech about how much I love Him...
... and I'm utterly, utterly, utterly stuck.
How to generate words which convey the depths of how much I love him... without offending anyone who doesn't or hasn't loved?
How to express the hope I possess for our relationship... without coming across as condemning all those who have condemned us?
How to generate words which convey the depths of how much I love him... without offending anyone who doesn't or hasn't loved?
How to express the hope I possess for our relationship... without coming across as condemning all those who have condemned us?
Wednesday, 16 April 2008
The Employment and Equalities Act (Churches) 2008
Somebody putting "Equal Opportunities" and "church" into Google will now think they've discovered a new piece of legislation. Tee hee.
I decided, though, today, that the government should grant all faith-based organisations full exemption from all employment and equalities legislation.
My reasoning is that the legislation has done very little to improve the employment conditions of employees in Christian organisations. All that has changed in the 30 or so years that such laws have been introduced is that Christian organisations have been more covert in their discrimination, pretending to follow the rules when they aren't, afraid to admit themselves unable to comply with or even understand what's legally being requested of them. This leads to the following problems
1. Job applicants and employees expect from Christian organisations legal rights and safeguards they will never receive
2. The vast majority of job applicants and employees do not have the time, money or courage to take Christian organisations to employment tribunals. The pressure "not to bring the name of Christ into disrepute" is immense and the adverse publicity generated can be vicious. John Reaney, who managed to win against the Diocese of Hereford was a rare exception.
3. Because the Reaney case was so exceptional, the majority of Christian organisations end up thinking they've got away with it.
If however, Christian organisations were to gain exemption from employment and equalities legislation
1. They could tell candidates the interview stage that they don't like gays/women/Blacks/immigrants so that the candidate would be aware at that stage what sort of organisation they were applying to.
2. They could stop using the Genuine Occupational Requirement clause to stipulate a youth worker who is "aged 24-26 with curly pink hair and a Scouse accent" so that they not longer look ridiculous in their own job ads.
3. Those Christian organisations who are known to be particularly good employers (such as the Faithworks Trust, Tearfund, Christian Aid etc) could receive the acclaim they deserve as outstandingly good people, properly motivated by grace, truth and love.
4. This would demonstrate that the guy who started the whole Christianity thing off was, despite never intending to form an organisation of any sort, an outstaningly kind, tolerant, welcoming, affirming and inclusive sort of bloke.
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I decided, though, today, that the government should grant all faith-based organisations full exemption from all employment and equalities legislation.
My reasoning is that the legislation has done very little to improve the employment conditions of employees in Christian organisations. All that has changed in the 30 or so years that such laws have been introduced is that Christian organisations have been more covert in their discrimination, pretending to follow the rules when they aren't, afraid to admit themselves unable to comply with or even understand what's legally being requested of them. This leads to the following problems
1. Job applicants and employees expect from Christian organisations legal rights and safeguards they will never receive
2. The vast majority of job applicants and employees do not have the time, money or courage to take Christian organisations to employment tribunals. The pressure "not to bring the name of Christ into disrepute" is immense and the adverse publicity generated can be vicious. John Reaney, who managed to win against the Diocese of Hereford was a rare exception.
3. Because the Reaney case was so exceptional, the majority of Christian organisations end up thinking they've got away with it.
If however, Christian organisations were to gain exemption from employment and equalities legislation
1. They could tell candidates the interview stage that they don't like gays/women/Blacks/immigrants so that the candidate would be aware at that stage what sort of organisation they were applying to.
2. They could stop using the Genuine Occupational Requirement clause to stipulate a youth worker who is "aged 24-26 with curly pink hair and a Scouse accent" so that they not longer look ridiculous in their own job ads.
3. Those Christian organisations who are known to be particularly good employers (such as the Faithworks Trust, Tearfund, Christian Aid etc) could receive the acclaim they deserve as outstandingly good people, properly motivated by grace, truth and love.
4. This would demonstrate that the guy who started the whole Christianity thing off was, despite never intending to form an organisation of any sort, an outstaningly kind, tolerant, welcoming, affirming and inclusive sort of bloke.
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Monday, 14 April 2008
a triumph of experience over hope? a conversation with a child far, far too young for the conversation we were having.
A conversation, too, that made me very sad for the girl with whom I had it...
HER: My Mummy says you're having a wedding.
ME: Yes. Do you want to come and bring her to the wedding?
HER: I don't like weddings.
ME: Why not?
HER: (Pauses, pouting) Well you'll have to have babies really quickly...
ME: (Cringing slightly) Er, we'll see what happens.
HER: ... 'cos you got to have babies before you split up. Once you're split up you can't have babies any more 'cos you're calling each other bad words and shouting.
ME: We're not planning to split up.
HER: Really? You're never going to split up?
ME: I don't know. But we're going to try really, really hard not to split up.
HER: (Eyes widening) So you might never ever ever split up?
ME: I hope we'll never ever ever ever ever split up.
HER: But (starts chewing a strand of hair) I didn't know you could hope about that.
HER: My Mummy says you're having a wedding.
ME: Yes. Do you want to come and bring her to the wedding?
HER: I don't like weddings.
ME: Why not?
HER: (Pauses, pouting) Well you'll have to have babies really quickly...
ME: (Cringing slightly) Er, we'll see what happens.
HER: ... 'cos you got to have babies before you split up. Once you're split up you can't have babies any more 'cos you're calling each other bad words and shouting.
ME: We're not planning to split up.
HER: Really? You're never going to split up?
ME: I don't know. But we're going to try really, really hard not to split up.
HER: (Eyes widening) So you might never ever ever split up?
ME: I hope we'll never ever ever ever ever split up.
HER: But (starts chewing a strand of hair) I didn't know you could hope about that.
Wednesday, 9 April 2008
On a lighter note...
You know the Bible 100%!
Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!
Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes
Thanks to Lina for this...
They're more scared of you than you are of them
It's what my mother used to say when I used to get scared of dogs that were too big and fluffy and wooffed at me too loudly.
I realised it again when this week Fiance and I had social intercourse with two more of the church ministers who refused to marry us.
We had to visit Minister One to collect our Banns, which Church of England law had required him, regardless of his personal objections, to publish for us. His vicarage, nestled awkwardly between a crop of identikit multi-storey inner-city tower blocks, the premises known locally as "that building where them from the social get your bairns took off of you" and the local arterial motorway, was one of the grimmest I'd ever seen. He opened the door, despite the horizontally-snarling snow, in the very most flimsy of shirt sleeves. I wanted to ask him to please go back inside and put a jumper on before speaking to us. He seemed just so nervous of us. "You work with children, don't you?" he said to Fiance.
Minister Two came up to me, entirely unexpectedly and out-of-normal-context in the corner shop and announced to me, triumphantly, "Grace!!! I've just spoken to your Fiance in the Post Office!" As he beamed at me, I suddenly saw a friend's three year old son grinning proudly as he told me he'd got his shoes on all by himself. I didn't know, then, how to respond to Minister Two. I felt like congratulating him - but that would have come across as patronising or insincere. I wanted to ask him what they'd talked about - but Fiance would no doubt be ringing on my mobile any minute to tell me all about it. But I could see that, for Minister Two, the conversation had represented a huge achievement.
I don't want us to make people uncomfortable. I don't want to spend my whole life frightening and antagonising the church and all its structures and leaders.
Jesus did, Fiance pointed out.
I realised it again when this week Fiance and I had social intercourse with two more of the church ministers who refused to marry us.
We had to visit Minister One to collect our Banns, which Church of England law had required him, regardless of his personal objections, to publish for us. His vicarage, nestled awkwardly between a crop of identikit multi-storey inner-city tower blocks, the premises known locally as "that building where them from the social get your bairns took off of you" and the local arterial motorway, was one of the grimmest I'd ever seen. He opened the door, despite the horizontally-snarling snow, in the very most flimsy of shirt sleeves. I wanted to ask him to please go back inside and put a jumper on before speaking to us. He seemed just so nervous of us. "You work with children, don't you?" he said to Fiance.
Minister Two came up to me, entirely unexpectedly and out-of-normal-context in the corner shop and announced to me, triumphantly, "Grace!!! I've just spoken to your Fiance in the Post Office!" As he beamed at me, I suddenly saw a friend's three year old son grinning proudly as he told me he'd got his shoes on all by himself. I didn't know, then, how to respond to Minister Two. I felt like congratulating him - but that would have come across as patronising or insincere. I wanted to ask him what they'd talked about - but Fiance would no doubt be ringing on my mobile any minute to tell me all about it. But I could see that, for Minister Two, the conversation had represented a huge achievement.
I don't want us to make people uncomfortable. I don't want to spend my whole life frightening and antagonising the church and all its structures and leaders.
Jesus did, Fiance pointed out.
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