A conversation, too, that made me very sad for the girl with whom I had it...
HER: My Mummy says you're having a wedding.
ME: Yes. Do you want to come and bring her to the wedding?
HER: I don't like weddings.
ME: Why not?
HER: (Pauses, pouting) Well you'll have to have babies really quickly...
ME: (Cringing slightly) Er, we'll see what happens.
HER: ... 'cos you got to have babies before you split up. Once you're split up you can't have babies any more 'cos you're calling each other bad words and shouting.
ME: We're not planning to split up.
HER: Really? You're never going to split up?
ME: I don't know. But we're going to try really, really hard not to split up.
HER: (Eyes widening) So you might never ever ever split up?
ME: I hope we'll never ever ever ever ever split up.
HER: But (starts chewing a strand of hair) I didn't know you could hope about that.
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6 comments:
Lord have mercy...
That reminds me of a conversation I had with a then 10 year old who just could not believe that I was married, had been married BEFORE I had my children, that I was married to the children's father, and that both children were from the same father.
I won't come over all sanctimoneous - I'm divorced too now, but I do feel desperately sad for children who don't even know the ideal of life long stability.
I just read this again and it made me cry.
That last sentence is just unbearable.
It felt an utterly unbearable conversation. I wanted to cry, too.
I mean, I fully accept around 40% of all marriages in the UK end in divorce, as have the marriages of roughly 40% of my friends who've ever been married.
But that surely shouldn't mean that children are brought up to assume that all couples eventually split up...
Not only that, the shocking thing is that they are experiencing breakup as involving shouting and swearing....I haven't managed much in my life, but we did manage to keep our children as protected as possible from our differences. We have never knowingly spoken ill of each other in front of them and still both parent jointly.
It can be done.
How terrible that some children experience family as so destructive that they don't even have an idea of hope that it might be different!
This breaks my heart on a very personal level.
Poor child.
All those poor kids.
My poor kids.
Ugh.
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