Monday 20 October 2008

Grace sees her old job advertised and starts thinking

Before I left Place of Former Employment, I'd written, upon their request, a few bullet points suggesting how the structure of the role could be improved. So now that they're advertising, I'm aching to read their job description and person spec. Not in a voyeurisic, titilating way... but because, with the role properly set up and managed, so much more could be achieved.

Each time I've been back to the neighbourhood - and it has only been a few times - I see people I knew, lived alongside, worked with. When I was cycling back through there earlier this week, it was the little, little boy whose Mam's funeral was in my last week who stopped me to say hello. I still didn't know what to say to him, even now.

Could Place of Former Employment have prevented Mam's death? I still can't decide. It's a question, essentially, of how much we believe the c/Church can do, of how much influence and/or impact the c/Church can, could, should have over one or an Other's life, a question set against that of free will versus determinism and/or personal, social, state responsibility... and really, I don't know any more. All I know is that now all I seem able to do is pray for that family, and from my cozy new abode three miles yet half a world away, that seems so... well, inadequate...

4 comments:

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Good to see you posting again. I'd been wondering about you.

I know what you mean about feeling inadequate at not being able to do more for people. But I do believe that prayer can accomplish more than we'll ever know.

catcha said...

I can identify with your sad experience...

Sounds so similar to me and my "Place of Former Worship" hehehe... wrote a list of suggestions for improvement to the pastor... then left the place soon after that, with no one taking over my "position" as of now... every time when I passed by the place I will recall good and bad memories, the people I used to hang out with, people I cared for etc... I wonder whether the "Place of Former Worship" could have changed some of its practices to prevent a few of the kind-hearted members from leaving? Sometimes when I met my mates from the Place I didn't know what to say about my departure... more often that not I still felt being betrayed somehow and disillusioned about being there at the first place...

Anyway life goes on... and God's still watching after us

Steve Lancaster said...

My guess is that just meeting you on the street is 'arcing' the little boy's story round somewhere good. Rainbow-shaped.

Don't know if it helps, but I reckon 'meeting' is at the heart of prayer - meeting God, meeting those you pray for. And a meeting requires moving on. The wrench of tearing your focus from God inspires a prayer: "May I pray even when I don't know I am praying; be with You even when we are apart; have prayed something You will act upon, even now the moment is gone."

grace said...

Ruth, Catcha, Steve... thanks. And hi again, too...