Saturday, 29 November 2008

a blog post in which Grace doesn't know what to write

Before I begin, thanks to all of you who were so nice about my last post. I've decided simply to put it all down to the priest in question having allowed the sub-zero temperature to freeze over his repository for tact. It happens to us all sometimes. Or to me, anyway.

Which is why, at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon, I'm sat in bed piled into three fleeces. The heating has chosen the coldest day so far this winter to pack in and as darkness descends, icicles are beginning to crystallise on the insides of the window panes and a thin film of frost is beginning to harden over the dregs of my lastest cup of tea. I'm exaggerating, of course. But I'm not warm enough. Neither, though, are many people around the world. I'm simply spoiled by having lived my whole life either in warmer climes or with central heating.

I've reached yet another point of being unsure where to take this blog. I began Jesus Wept as an anonymous place to think and write about things one wasn't allowed to think or write about in my then job. Its original title was going to be The Secret Life of a Church Administrator (which I changed my mind about as a bit too revealing) and my original pseudonym was going to be the ironic Eulalia (in New Testament Greek, loosely translated as she who says the right thing, which I can't remember why I changed to Grace). Now, however, that I'd left Place of Former Employment and am free to believe, consider, discuss and write about anything, I can no longer maintain the frisson of intrigue and suspense of what might happen if I were to be Outed. By now, I suspect, Place of Former Employment have better things to worry about.

The moment of greatest pathos and irony was when, at the meeting directly following my appointment to New Job, I was informed that my alleged evangelical credentials had made them slightly uneasy about inviting me to interview.

It's proving hard to blog anonymously about New Job as it's all a bit, well, specific to what it is. And my concern is not them finding out about what I might or might not believe (which they ask me, I've told them, they're fine with) but them discovering the more emo laden bits of content here. At New Job, I'd prefer to keep my personal dramas separate from my working life. (If I manage that, it'll be a first...)

So what, then, for the future of this blog? I could de-anonymise myself and try and make it into something all academic and deep exploring the spirituality and theology of my new area of work. Or I could remain anonymous but ensure that I never write about work but concentrate on random faith questions and the general chaos clattering through my mind. Or else I blog about something totally, entirely different. Either way, I'm not entirely sure of how a blog readership might respond...

Any ideas, anyone?

1 comment:

Steve Lancaster said...

Like, do any of us actually know why we're blogging? I mean, within the broadest of parameters, there's a huge element of 'see what happens' about my blog. And you'll know, from reading other people's blogs, that there are frequent bouts of 'Oh my word, what have I done?' across them all (between the lines, if not exactly in them...!). In fact, I'm fairly sure Pandora had a blog, not a box (just googling as we speak...seems she has many blogs and not all of them are not what you'd imagine them to be...).

Rambling. I stick with your blog 'cos I've met you and like the fact that you like writing and church. These are what come through loud and clear. So, assuming that you'll want to keep engaging with the writing and church whether you blog or not, I guess the question is, what else do you want to engage with in order to triangulate with them? At one time it was the job - now...? And is a blog the best medium for it?